I was almost 2 dispirited 2 sit today, but I did it anyway #meditation #poetry

I record notes with voice memo in the post sit savasana that’s necessary to let blood flow restore itself in the topmost leg and calf, though the more often you sit the less pronounced this transition.

Meditation is a mostly passive activity which requires the utmost in active will to maintain the discipline. After all, it’s not going to change anything. This is what I was thinking before I commenced this morning. When I first learned meditation – during a course called Yoga, Meditation & Mysticism, taken the summer between sophomore & junior year at RISD – it seemed to almost magically revamp me internally. It was a six week course during which time I kept the promise to do 40-minutes of easy yoga and a traditional 20-minute sit daily. The effects became obvious in my level of focus the next year at school, and the positive effects lasted the full year even though I’d mostly stopped meditating. But then I was young and hopeful. I was a star student at (supposedly) the best art school in the country.

This morning I asked the facade.com tarot if I would ever earn a living wage again. I got the 9 of cups reversed. Facade’s interpretation was really negative, but I just googled it and got this. I think I’ll stop there. I like this interpretation.

Introduction: The 9 of Cups, whether reversed or upright, is one of the most uplifting and pleasant cards to receive in a reading. Known often as the “wish card” it can mean that what you are hoping for or dreaming about most is very likely to be yours. The reversal says that the wishes for you will go even deeper; these are not superficial wishes that are at play now. That’s a good thing.

General: The reversed 9 of Cups is a signal that things are looking up. Make a point to really stop and think about what it is that you want in your life. You may be pleasantly surprised by how quickly it can come about. Dream.

Work: When you pull the reversed 9, it can signify that you will soon be finding, and feeling, deep fulfillment in your work. There is a lot more loyalty to you there than you would expect. If you’re looking for work, this means that you are going to find something much more suitable, much sooner than you would expect. You will feel drawn to the position. Follow your gut, and take it.

I might well start practicing more yoga asana again, if only because physical activity is important and I really need to spend some money on new cross trainers but really shouldn’t and thus don’t want to.

I finally broke down and got a 6-month subscription to the Vegan Cuts beauty box. I’d been wanting it since last winter. Once a month, for a little while, I’ll be getting a “surprise” delivery. This will mean a lot even if it’s frivolous. The other thing I’m wondering about is a Kindle unlimited. I should read more. I find video less satisfying these days, unless we’re talking vegan activism on YouTube. I need to find out if all titles are featured in the program or if it’s just a curated selection. This is important. My reading interests are highly selective. I just finished Reasons to Stay Alive and now I want to read The Humane Economy: How Innovators and Enlightened Consumers Are Transforming the Lives of Animals.

So anyway… ya… my right knee has been a bit achy lately as has the outer edge of the same foot, in bunion territory. Also the HIIT has been seeming a bit pointless. I don’t have access to heavier weights which I could use to build more strength & muscle mass. It feels a bit like treading water. We’ll see… I just don’t want to get attached to asana as physical and some twisted kind of moral validation again. It really helps that I haven’t been a part of “the scene” for years, but even if I practice a little too semi-regularly, the beast reawakens. I don’t want it.

No workout today, as far as the physical exercise thing goes. It’ll be a psychological endurance test instead.


Author: Boodiba

Artist, Designer

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