If anything, I see myself withdrawing further & further from the world

I don’t have much in common with normal people anymore. Unless you’ve got money you can’t hang and no one really wants to hear your problems, especially when they don’t change. (The move was already almost two years ago so… I remember people offering up all kinds of comforting advice the first year, like “in the PNW it takes about a month for every 10,000 you want to earn”. OK. So eventually I’ll get hired for like $500,000 a year? I’m so sure.)

And then there is the weirdness of Emperor Baby Fists… I have little to no patience for everyone’s shock and dismay. As I like to say, I’d been having 2016 since the middle of 2015. How could this HAPPEN? Guess what, shit happens and life isn’t fair. Back in NYC I’d started going to demonstrations and marches, anti nukes (Indian Point) and anti Monsanto. I didn’t for once consider going to the women’s march in Portland this Saturday. I’ve got no spirit for it. All I want to do is find somewhere amenable to sit and drink beer. That’s it.


Took another rest day yesterday. No reason other than apathy, but it was an NB and I didn’t totally pig out. Two rest days a week is bad endorphin/mood/motivation wise, though on a sheer exercise level, I work out way more intensely way more often than I used to, since I started HIIT toward the end of 2014.

I slept deeply because no alcohol and the darkness of rain. Charlie had already left for work when I got up at 7:30. He’s got a long day… I’ll get some exercise in and then maybe go downtown on the first afternoon bus. Bus 51 was out of service for a good 11 days, but it was running yesterday, and I’ve been losing my mind with just sitting in the house all the time. I could even bring some sketching supplies… It’ll be too wet to draw outside but I could just doodle in a cafe…

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Author: Boodiba

Artist, Designer

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