Today I’ll have my 1st interview as an “out” #gray person

No exercise before hand, as planned, because I’d stayed up late watching the silly but highly enjoyable Hot Tub Time Machine 2 and I have a cat, a demanding cat. Naughty little ankle-biter is sleeping on the futon next to me right now.

Instead of working out I was researching, trying to find an interesting but text heavy resume template, preferably in InDesign. I downloaded some stuff but I need to keep thinking about it. Also need to watch a tutorial on it, via Creative Cloud website.

I’ve been using this proletariat resume in Text Edit since I over paid for that mostly useless do-over a couple months into PDX. It’s gotta be scannable bla, bla. I was willing to listen, but now I want to make it pretty again, especially if I’m going to be presenting it with an inside track on a great job. It’s likely a real person will actually read it.

This was after printing my utilitarian & not snazzy at all current version to bring to today’s meeting. It’s more of a design coordination job and seems to be a start-up situation. I’ll know more after the chat.

So I’ll either exercise later or not at all. I’m fine with having a 4-day week. I might want to just work and study and download when I get back. I might want to stop at Blick on the return trip too, and in that case it’ll take over 2 hours. (Appointment is in the NE but close-in.)

5 of Disks, Page of Disks, 2 of Cups #tarot

I’m not surprised with this reading. I went to bed at 9pm last night & caught up on some needed rest, but I’m feeling restless and a little bored this morning, nothing major but it’s there. I’ll get some work done. Yesterday I’d intended to ink both Kali and Athena and stop there, but instead I got going on the watercolor washes with Kali and didn’t get to my other goddess at all.

My legs are sore, but at least I’m not all peg-legged like I was one day last summer (the day I met Charlie I could hardly walk), when I’d had my first serious introduction to pistol squats. Figures on a day I need some yoga it’s kind of cold, only 55 now. That’s great for sleeping but bad for yoga! It’s only going up to 61 too. I can’t take a rest day either cause of all the retail coming up… I haven’t lost any of that belly roll at all.

Speaking of which, if I’m going to be suffering through the standing and pacing so much I might actually spring for a real haircut for the first time since early April, 2015. I’ll go to Bishops, which is a barbershop type place that friend Susan told me about. I could also use a 3rd work shirt for summer. Of the two banker-blue, striped styles I have one is just a little bit too fitted and substantial a fabric for hot days in a no AC environment.

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Card 1, within: 5 of Disks

Introduction: The 5 of Pentacles can point to a time when life is feeling less than secure. The important thing to remember is that there is always help available when we need it, from forces both seen and unseen. You may feel alone. Yup. Even if a relationship is going well, if that is the ONLY person you interact with on a regular basis… Perhaps I should finally call a friend or something.

General: In general, the 5 of Pentacles points to a feeling of being left out in the cold, as though everyone else in the world has everything and you are the only one that is suffering.

Work: Work can be either burdensome or non-existent when this card appears, and you may be feeling stuck. Know that you do not have to stay in a situation that is not healthy or workable for you, have faith in yourself and the universe that changes are possible. That’s what I was going with when I left NYC.

Heaven is in the breast (heart chakra). Eternity is now. Look for the answer within. Find peace within. Not like I have other options anyway.

The Five of Pentacles is a Tarot Card that appears when economic times get bad. It shows up when we are losing faith in a relationship, an institution or just in ourselves. It is a card that illustrates us lacking faith in tough times.

Card 2, without: Page of Disks

Last seen in the same 2nd, “environment” position on May 31. Pentacles are the Tarot deck’s symbol of wealth, but they also represent the material plane of existence – all possessions and the practical approach to having things around.

Introduction: The Page of Pentacles can be a card about boredom, in some ways. This Page’s strength is unconditional love both for self and others, and non judgment. Assuming strength in your self, others and in situations. Project into the world calm thoughts that support rather than hinder what you want from life.

The Page of Pentacles, like the pages of all the suits, is a card of new beginnings, of inspiration and the initial stages of a creative project or venture. Pentacles correspond to the alchemical element of earth, and in this sense the coin that the Page holds may symbolize the beginnings of sensual awareness not only in terms of money and its value but also in terms of a growing awareness of the importance of health and other material needs.

Card 3, advice: 2 of Cups

Last seen on June 2nd in the 1st position.

Introduction: The 2 of Cups often refers to romantic partnership, but that is not its only connotation. It can speak of balance, friendship, joy, and sharing.

General: In general this is a card that says that things are likely to be going well. You should be feeling more than usually loved, cared for, and content.

Love: This card represents true love, balanced partnership, commitment, and all of the things that most of us hope for in regard to love and relationship. However, this does not mean that you can just do or say “whatever” and that your love/relationship will last; it only means that the underpinnings, the real, solid, potential for true love and affection is there.

When this card appears in the future position, a good outcome is almost guaranteed. The Two of Cups is a card that allows you to peer into where the subtlest energies between you and another person are going. This card’s appearance in the future position signals that those energies are about to become amplified into full-fledged infatuation, partnership or a deep commitment between you and this other person.

I’m really happy the temperatures have finally dropped #gratitude

It’s great in the land of very, very minimal AC. As far as the work situation goes, it’d be nice if the company would supply at least one of the free standing models so the employees could cool their damp pits on hot days, but I shouldn’t be surprised there isn’t one. Amazon warehouse pickers didn’t get that until some newspaper (I think it was) got a hold of the story about how they were always passing out at the job. If I remember right, Amazon was more willing to keep an ambulance parked outside than they were to make their low level workers comfortable. #Murica (fuck ya) invisible #bootstraps

Other things I’m grateful for, not listed in terms of any rank of importance:

  1. Charlie coming to pick me up & take me out for margaritas & Mexican right after.
  2. My relative good health (except for my vision and dental situation)
  3. Henry!
  4. The fact that I don’t have to stand and pace for hours on end today.
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30min #HIIT & 1hr #yoga #ashtanga #ashtangesque

Doesn’t matter if your room’s chilly, you’re wearing 10 year old ripped pants and you have no company if you do a HIIT before your yoga.

Oh and hey my old lady STERLING SILVER shampoo and conditioner arrived. You’re only supposed to use them every other time or so, and I’ve got some castor oil in my hair now so I’ll go ahead and try it out now. It’ll work better once more of the old, dyed hair is chopped off, but my hair’s so short that won’t take long.


Cardio Sweat: HIIT Bodyweight Workout

  • (10/50) with skipping for a 30min set
  1. Mountain Climbers
  2. Jump Squats
  3. High Knees
  4. Lunge Jumps
  5. Russian Kicks
  6. High Knees
  7. Frogger jumping wide
  8. Plie Jumps
  9. High Knees
  10. Curtsy Lunge (right) 30lbs. Changed this b/c did a bunch of hip thrusts yesterday.
  11. Curtsy Lunge (left)
  12. Frogger jumping in & low
  13. Pendulum Hop
  14. Burpee
  15. High Knees


1 hour

  • Suryas & fundamentals
  • Marichy C & D
  • Second to Laghu vajrasana, EPRK, Kapo B
  • Back bending (just 3 drop backs today) & finishing

#Transformation • Better than nothing #meditation

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It’s only slightly less obvious when it isn’t standing straight up, like first thing in the morning.

I cut chunks off of my rapidly graying hair almost every single day. I can’t seem to help myself! Part of the problem is that it’s been well over a year now since I’ve had a professional cut, and since it’s (roughly) a pixie, things stick out a lot. But since I decided to stop dying it, I guess it’s ok to keep it so short. It’ll make the transformation that much faster.

I’m looking pretty “shaved chicken” at the moment. I got a little carried away with today’s trim, being too apathetic to do anything else*. But it’s ok. I spent a large portion of my life in the really cute category. All things must pass.

I’d switched to the temporary dye awhile back. It was the only way to deal with the overall flatness of do-it-yourself box color with the amount of gray I already had. With permanent I’d wind up with a sharp seam after two weeks. It was impossible to find any drugstore brand that passed a Buycott screen as well & I gave up trying. I’d order 3-packs of Clairol’s Natural (nothing natural about it) Instinct from Amazon. I’ve got two boxes left! I hardly ever waste stuff, especially now that I’m so poor, but I’ve made the decision and so…

Here’s my tarot reading for the day.


*The darkness  is back again. I’m not even trying to fight it. I’ll see if I rally later. Missed a sit yesterday and did 22-minutes today. I don’t have the will for 40-minutes today, but I made a small effort at least and that’s certainly better than nothing.