22min sit #meditation #vision

Missed a couple days on the meditation last week, but this morning I got up & after coffee & breakfast came upstairs, aimless. Then I looked at my list & remembered. I did a reading before sitting. Card of the day is IX The Hermit.

mary-el.png

Makes total sense! I believe this card is the March 9 card, for those who’ve read up on cards associated with particular birthdays.

Speaking of which I’ve officially given up on ever having a job-job again. The world just isn’t interested. In spite of the fact that I have the EXACT skill set required for the hand painting, print & pattern artists at Tommy Bahama AND I had an introduction by a current employee, I didn’t even merit an email response. I’ve been continuing with making stationery samples lately and also with studying animation in InDesign, just for something to do. I can still design logos for individual clients, if I manage to find any. Most often these are friends and former work colleagues.

Did you hear from Tommy? she asked me first. Ha! I think she knew the answer to that one. Well you’ve got a great new resume now! Ya, ya, and that’ll do fuck all for me won’t it? It’s worth noting I always got work with my past resumes just fine. The resume was not the problem.

I tagged a tweet with #ageism the other day and instantly connected with a female Brit with the twitter name “finishedatfifty”. At least I know it’s not just me! I always thought my talent and speed skills could surpass anything, but they can’t get around corporate age discrimination. Nope.


Anyway I’m sitting here typing this with pinhole glasses on & no contacts on my eyeballs. Granted the type is really big & the computer is on my lap, but I can still see enough to do it.

Last night we went to see Steve Miller, general admission. We decided to get there an hour early & found out that’s last minute, for a concert at Edgefield Winery. (I used to be an early person, in my days as a gainfully employed New Yorker. Now that I’m an inadvertent slacker on top of a big hill in the Portland suburbs, I’m a last minute to slightly late person. Steve is 73 and still sounds great. The only way you can be relevant after 50 is if you create your own niche. Anyway I didn’t even try to see what he looked like.

My eyes have differentiated tasks in the past few years. The right eye is distance. The left one, which went down a whole “stop” between my last exam in Jan and the one before that, a year earlier, has plummeted once again. Already. I can’t even focus on something 5 feet away wearing my $1,000 glasses OR the contacts, and that’ll be my script for another year. I get headaches a lot

So maybe I’ll try wearing my pinhole glasses a half hour to an hour a day. Maybe the prescription wasn’t quite right? Who knows… But it’s too hard to try to read that much with these things on & no contacts so I’ll post w/out proofing because fuck it.