Henry health update, #restday


I haven’t found any more fleas since the one I nabbed two days ago. The scabs that run half the length of his back have progressed from raw, wet wounds to darker and dryer. I suppose that’s good. I nearly put the cone of shame back on him yesterday.

I did order some diatomaceous earth to have on hand for the next time (because you know there will be one, if he’s getting fleas while staying mostly inside in freaking December), but though Amazon tracking says it was dropped off yesterday evening, it was nowhere to be found this morning. We live at the end of a long, windy, uphill and dead-end drive, so packages disappearing isn’t generally a problem. An Amazon query says you need to wait 36 hours before they’ll do anything about it, as sometimes packages are marked as delivered preemptively. Interesting! I’ll have to look up some more information on it before testing it out on future flea problems. You’re supposed to avoid their eyes and nose, which makes sense, but I’m not sure about any open wounds.

The weak area in my left tricep has been squawking a little bit & I haven’t taken a rest day yet this week  so I’m going to go ahead and take one today. I’m not going downtown to work tomorrow. Otherwise I’d wait until then.

Finally got all the information I needed to call the IRS, verify my identity and get my 2015 refund into final processing stage! It was one mix-up after another, but I know for certain I’d given my new address to my NYC accountant when we spoke over the summer. I remember him saying he’d put a note in my account, but of course I had no paper trail. That was the mistake that started the whole cluster fuck. I dropped the ball too but I wouldn’t have if I’d gotten my mail.

The follow-up has been pretty lack luster, and he raised his fee by $15 over the prior year too. I guess it’s pretty obvious from my (near total lack of) earnings last year that I’m not going to continue to be a client. That explains it. I’ll do my own next year. Fuck it. It’s not like I don’t have the time.

[EDIT UPDATE] Today I’m just going to go with the SADs

This pre-solstice span of dim lighting and hill isolation is BRUTAL for me, on The Hill. I wasn’t here last December. I still had that humongous picture window to stare out of.


I two big “blows” that month though, not getting an offer for a branding gig at Nike and also not being entry-level enough (while having the nerve to submit “great” test projects) for Creative Coop. That’s when I knew I wasn’t going to be renting another apartment here in the “Economy of a Turnip” Portland. My salvation will HAVE to be remote freelance and fine art. It has to be. There is no other way.

I’m still working at being a real artist, not as much as I should, but I’m plugging away, albeit sporadically, in between incapacitating bouts of sadness and anxiety. I am reunited with my easel!* I hate to admit it, but I realized doing the math I only had it for a year or two before NYC circumstances separated us. It’s a miracle I have it again, even if we still need to get wheels and there’s a hell of a lot I need to get in order to really use it. That thing could handle one of those enormous canvases, say if I was working 5×9-feet or more. But the larger the materials the more expensive. I’m still using some 300lb arches watercolor paper I got either in college or by my mid 20s at the latest. I think it was $10 a sheet back then. And oils are super expensive… Bla, bla, bla.


*I need to give credit not just to Cathy, who had to offer to intervene twice before I realized she was serious, but also to Charlie who suggested I ask for it. I’d told him about my old easel, I guess in wistful tones. I never thought to ask for it. I knew what that would mean, in terms of my mother and the inevitable freak out. Ooooh that’d be a SHIT-STORM, I said. But I went ahead an initiated anyway. Once he gave me the idea I couldn’t help myself. Save the easel!!!

It’s a monument to a lot of things in my life, youthful optimism and a belief in my own artistic talent, to name just two. I kicked some ass at RISD, even if I didn’t have a sophisticated background.

Henry’s flea induced skin problem isn’t doing ANYthing good for my mood

He was worrying the main area this morning, while I was still lying in bed, so I picked him up to examine it while my coffee was brewing and it’s really raw, red and angry looking. What do I do? Keep him in a cone 24/7? We’ll both be miserable. But when I did that overnight, after discovery, and covered the area with salve it was much less red the next day.

Decided to just spend all day holed up thinking, if I want

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10 Card – Outcome

So I’m in the 2016, Pacific Northwest version of the renunciate’s cave. I knew it. I’d never have come if I weren’t tricked*, so the universe made me believe I was coming here to live pretty much the same working, middle aged cat lady single existence (I’d been living before. I’d hoped to improve on the working situation, not to obliterate it!)

*This isn’t intended as blame on any individuals. A similar thing happened when my college BF and I were strongly considering moving to the NYC area and came down for a week in the summer, staying with his established Illustrator friend. We were at Scrap Bar when Axl Rose, at the very height of Guns and Roses fame, came in around 2am and sat at our table. When moving I was totally like, Oh ya, I’m totally making the right decision badgering my boyfriend into this. Rock stars sit with you & you get free beer!

The Hierophant says life is your teacher.  Every experience is a lesson – a learning opportunity for growth and the solid understanding that conflicts are openings for new life to take seed.  When you begin to feel oppressed by the “shoulds” and “oughts” of life – listen to your “inner” teacher.  Once all the facts have been gathered by your conscious mind, they are fed into your subconscious, which sorts, assimilates and sends back a flash of intuition – the correct analysis.  A simple good wish made for another puts divine power into action.  As your prayers rise towards God, they are transformed into benedictions which descend from above.  The search for “truth” is a prayer which is followed by illumination, consolation or grace and it always results in harmonious spiritual respiration.

Use your human situation in order to transcend your unevolved aspects.  Through intuition you become united with the Universe – you learn to hold the two opposing forces of life in balance – having recognized that you can not resolve them.  You “play the game” by understanding the rules and manners of the existing hierarchy and seeking out authorities in your field – making new allies by listening to your conscience.  Share this wisdom with others – you are a teacher.

In the tenth position: Listen to these guides of grace shedding new light in old corners.  You may view this as a new turn on an old truth or as a new pattern of truth speaking an entirely new language.  It will expand your awareness by giving you new friends to play and study with.  Pay more than usual attention to dreams, channeling, meditation, all inner resources, as well as the marvel of serendipity in everyday events.

I’m already playing pretty close attention to my dreams and daily, seated meditation.

Had a frustrated travel dream last night. If I could’ve knocked myself out at 7pm I’d have done so happily, relieved by oblivion. Instead I stayed up all night, obsessing about not having any good snacks and where I’d run away to if I could.

So in dreamland I’d flown to South Beach and met up with my friend Nako. We were supposed to rendezvous with Jane but difficulties ensued…

I managed to work out! #HIIT and #ashtanga #yoga

I’m gonna blog as much as I want today

I think I’m still going to have to take an advil though. I thought I’d work out first & see if I still needed it. Yep. I’m glad I worked up a sweat though cause I really fucking needed the endorphins. I’ve had Henry sequestered with me upstairs so I can keep an eye on him. I took the cone back off after three hours of salve soaking in, but of course he’s licked that area a lot. I followed him around awhile, relentlessly foiling him when he’d lick over the raw areas. I’ll have to see how it looks tomorrow…

He seems to want to stay close. He was parked right in front of my rope zone all through the HIIT.



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BodyRock – Full Body Skipping Fat Burn HIIT Circuit

  • From list on my own timing, (15/50)=48:40 for 2 sets.

Repeat cardio: Jump rope

  1. Push-up, clean & press, squat & press, 40
  2. Side to side squat, 35 (alt leg stepping out to the side, holding weight in middle)
  3. 180˚ jump squats (touching floor @ bottom)
  4. Elevated push-up & punch out, alt arms
  5. Pull-ups
  6. Wood chops, 15 (subbed for side to side swings)
  7. Other side
  8. Push-ups to reverse plank (or dip), hands on blocks
  9. Push-up & row, lifting opp leg, 15s feet elevated
  10. RL Weights overhead, backward lunge with a press-up, then knee lift, 20
  11. Other leg

    1min rest 

  1. Dips
  2. RL Bicep curl & stationery lunge, 30
  3. LL Hammer curl & stationery lunge, 30
  4. Plie squat & Y press-swing up, 20 (weights swing down bet legs on the down)
  5. Elevated side plank, lift bottom leg & then bring knee in to top elbow
  6. Other side
  7. Half burpee & hop lunge back alt sides
  8. Deadlift, pulse @ the bottom & swing weights toward back of body on the up
  9. Leg lift, table top on up, then swing hips back toward L-sit on the down (Bender style)
  10. Other side
  11. Hanging from pull-up bar, lift straight legs & V out


  • Suryas & fundamentals. Handstands felt really good today.
  • Dandasana & the two paschimos.
  • Finishing to Sirsasana. Savasana.

It’s still ashtanga if I did a couple surya namaskars! LOL. Not really but anyone familiar would recognize it. What I love about combining the bits of Ashtanga after HIIT is that you don’t have to do anything at all extreme in the yoga to still get a good workout. This is not so with the yoga alone!

I needed to “brush up” on my flea comb technique! I found the tip of putting soap in water to dunk the comb in, also that you should wipe the comb after each use in order to avoid redepositing any eggs on kitty. Gonna boil some water before I corner kitty under some bright lights this evening. #party

Learning all about fleas #exhausted

Look at comb with every comb and dunk into soapy water if there is a flea. Otherwise, rake comb onto napkin to remove eggs & dried blood specs (what larvae feed on) EVERY time you pull comb through fur. This way you aren’t redepositing those back onto cat.

I don’t think I see well enough to use a flea comb. The lighting is very dim in this house, in the dead of a Pacific Northwest winter especially. I got out the one SAD lamp I own but that makes a glare. I combed Henry all over the fucking place after I took the cone off for a bit this morning, just to let him eat and groom. I didn’t find one. How is following around my cat all day with a flea comb gonna work if I can’t fucking see the fucking fleas? Charlie found four yesterday, as he was showing me how to do this task I am ill equipped for.

I’m very tired. When I took my glasses off to install contacts I could confirm I look like shit. He slept next to me but we were both anxious, and he kept turning around to center the cone over my face so he could kiss me for petting, the comfort of touch. He thinks he’s being punished, no doubt.

Three skin conditions in eleven months!

He never had one before either, even though I walked him outside in Portland all spring and summer when I lived downtown and didn’t apply that last dose of Frontline I’d had. (I bought a 3-pack in NYC after I was warned about the dangers of flea infestation, and had applied it twice. Then I stopped walking him for the winter, and moved in the early spring.) I can’t believe this one got so bad before I noticed, but he’s got very thick fur. Now that there’s salve on it, you can see the wounds. They’re about a finger’s width wide and run along his spine, about half the length. It’d be like having a hand’s width raw patch (half the length of your back) on a person. No wonder he’s been less playful than usual!

I finally noticed when we were snuggling in the bed, before dawn yesterday morning. I felt a rough patch and made a mental note to check when I got up. When I found the first spot, I was concerned. Then I saw it kept going and going and was horrified. I guess I’m going to have to make a point of checking his entire body at least every other day.

The big “if”

I didn’t get to working out yesterday because I was so preoccupied. Also my easel arrived and we mostly put it together. It’s too big for the ceiling level and the wheels were lost along the way. I’d need those. But then I’d also need: oil paints; more brushes, medium, solvent, a palette stand, a drop cloth, lighting, canvases etc. I’d need a few thousand dollars of supplies just to get going, in other words. And then I’m like, Why the fuck did I want this thing? Part of me is still glad I’ve got it, I guess, even though it may well just stand there unused. We’ll see. If I got any illustration income I could make it happen.

So the flea problem really took the excitement away from the easel. I didn’t get around to working out either. Hopefully I will today though I am REALLY FUCKING TIRED. I did change the sheets & threw them in the wash, and then I hung my three blankets outside on the snowy deck. Apparently the cold will kill any eggs or larvae & he did sleep next to me all night. (Quite often he’ll only join me on the pillows in the early morning, but he needs extra love with the confusion.)


Not to brag, but I can sit in #meditation for 40 minutes

Without changing my legs in padmasana! The foot & calf on top always go numb after about 20min, from the weight of the first foot in pressing on top of the thigh. Of course today it was all avoidance. It is SO DARK.

I made this video when I was still at The Hotel. Thinking about it now, I was actually still way more hopeful then, in lots of ways I won’t detail because then I’d have to move this post to the Batcave.

I just wish Henry would deign to nap with me. He’s in love with the pantry. He’s a Pantry Cat. Spends all of his time in there when not campaigning for food lately.

At least the (what passes for) the campaign has kept me busy on Twitter for hours. Look it’s already the afternoon!

The best feline sidekick, Bodyrock & rest days

Hmmm…. It’s such a cool, gray day after a long time of “relentless” (lol) sunshine. It’s been really nice actually, but an inward day is nice. The only thing is that Henry’s gotten used to over an hour outside. Yesterday he got more than two.

He was crazy frisky this morning while we were having coffee, running around and ambushing me regularly. Then C opened the door & Henry dashed out. He just went to the deck where he stopped and allowed me to scoop and scold. He looked smug, like he’d wanted to prove a point. (He also enjoys racing to the top of the stairs ahead of the humans.)

I definitely have to take him out later, especially as we’ve got a few days of rain forecast. There’s generally some time in the day to get out, but he’ll have less fun if everything’s wet.

I got all happy last night because I discovered that Lisa Marie IS putting out longer videos, on her own YouTube page, just like the old Real Time Challenge. Not sure why BodyRock has always had such clueless customer service. This has remained the same as they’ve grown. You never get the correct information! I was told by one that the only way to take part in the last Bootcamp was to purchase. This was after it’d already started & despite putting my name on the email list like 3x I’d never gotten a notice. Then I found a link to do a subscription trial and sampled 18 out of 19 workouts.

The last time I logged on a chat window popped up & was like “Let us know if you’ve got any questions!” Just for fun I asked if they were ever going to do longer real-time workouts again, like the old RTC. I went back to what I was doing and a few hours later I double checked and the agent never responded, not in three hours. It’s not like I’d asked for the nuclear launch codes!

Then last night I happen to see a suggested workout video in my YouTube and I go to Lisa’s page and find a bunch of current, longer real times! Since she’s the main star and her YouTube is obviously affiliated – the company name comes before hers on her own channel –  you think the people in charge of selling subscriptions and gear would be informed & pass this along, at least when asked. Nope! No matter. I always find the pertinent information myself.

I have a workout detailed out already but I might do it tomorrow & just sit today.

I like to change the rest / transition time to 15-seconds over 10, when working from a long list rather than following a video, however, so my workout will be slightly longer than the video. Gives me time to grab a sip, check the notes & get into place. This is especially good when working with different weights and a jump rope!

Maybe I should start meditating again

Although the magic after effects I’d always remembered from practicing it when younger – everything going my way – have failed to occur in PDX. I can at least do it today… I might not accomplish much else.

Woke up woozy & without fingernails again. On the other hand, the first time I opened my eyes with a start, sometime shortly after the first light of day, the first thing I registered was Sir Henry, sleeping on the left side of my pillow again. Awwww…. I love that little guy SO much.

I’ll do my cards again too. #goals Gotta stick with achievable ones today.

Relaxing Sunday #meditation #art #farmersmarket

Did my sit earlier and got to work on the goddesses. I updated a comp, updated the catalog & uploaded it to dropbox. Then I inked one of the next two goddesses. My piece of homasote is big enough for two of these little illustrations.

Then C and I checked out the local farmer’s market. We were just at New Seasons yesterday, and we’ve enjoyed two bundles of garlic greens in the past week, (delicious roasted), but we picked up a few things today anyway… I’m going to make rice with yellow split peas, cherry tomatoes and ramps later.

When we returned the sun had come out so I got Sir’s harness on and the four of us went for a meander. It’s raining again now, from gloriously and vigorously to torrentially.

Looks like I’m not going to exercise. I had 5 sessions last week though and it’s the start of a new week. The only thing is I have retail twice. I’ve never once gotten up early enough to get in a pre retail workout either, so that means only 4 sessions… I know what I should do is get up & get ready to just yoga within an hour. I’m a little uninspired with the HIIT at the moment, between the shoes issue, the lack of more weight options and no new channels to follow.