If anything, I see myself withdrawing further & further from the world

I don’t have much in common with normal people anymore. Unless you’ve got money you can’t hang and no one really wants to hear your problems, especially when they don’t change. (The move was already almost two years ago so… I remember people offering up all kinds of comforting advice the first year, like “in the PNW it takes about a month for every 10,000 you want to earn”. OK. So eventually I’ll get hired for like $500,000 a year? I’m so sure.)

And then there is the weirdness of Emperor Baby Fists… I have little to no patience for everyone’s shock and dismay. As I like to say, I’d been having 2016 since the middle of 2015. How could this HAPPEN? Guess what, shit happens and life isn’t fair. Back in NYC I’d started going to demonstrations and marches, anti nukes (Indian Point) and anti Monsanto. I didn’t for once consider going to the women’s march in Portland this Saturday. I’ve got no spirit for it. All I want to do is find somewhere amenable to sit and drink beer. That’s it.


Took another rest day yesterday. No reason other than apathy, but it was an NB and I didn’t totally pig out. Two rest days a week is bad endorphin/mood/motivation wise, though on a sheer exercise level, I work out way more intensely way more often than I used to, since I started HIIT toward the end of 2014.

I slept deeply because no alcohol and the darkness of rain. Charlie had already left for work when I got up at 7:30. He’s got a long day… I’ll get some exercise in and then maybe go downtown on the first afternoon bus. Bus 51 was out of service for a good 11 days, but it was running yesterday, and I’ve been losing my mind with just sitting in the house all the time. I could even bring some sketching supplies… It’ll be too wet to draw outside but I could just doodle in a cafe…

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The Renunciate’s Elevated Cave

I once was in a place where I could get anywhere at all times, and I had about 20 appetizing restaurants within a 10-minute walk, plus two health food stores and the largest Whole Foods in Manhattan. Now I’m on The Hill and have been without ANY public transportation since January 11th. There was some on the 10th, but then it started snowing heavily that evening and it continued through the morning. After that, everything froze for a good, long while, and Portland neither salts its roads nor owns more than two (I think) ploughs. They should pay all the unemployed creatives to shovel! LOL. But then they’d advertise it as a volunteer, no doubt. And they’d probably have a strict age limit of 35 because liability.

Fuck the close-minded fuckers all the way to hell

And once again, I had every reason to believe I’d succeed. I had to acknowledge the risk, but I thought it was a small one. I have REALLY learned what our society thinks about women since I moved. It is what it is, I guess. It’s funny but now I’m doing some free design work for Trey, who lives up here on The Hill also. He’s Cymon’s boyfriend. (Unpaid work is plentiful… Meanwhile I’m still forking out $50 a month for Creative Cloud. It’d be nice if I could get at least that covered but… Portland. It’d also be nice if these volunteer samples resulted in paid work, but the last time I was hoping for such a result it did not occur, mainly because I’m limited to the free advertising of Craig’s List Portland.)  Anyway, I showed him how to Air Drop some image reference to me and he was all, “Oh man, cool!” Hadn’t been aware of it. Does it fucking matter that I’m fucking UP ON THINGS? No. It fucking does not if I’m immediately disqualified due to age. And I know from past experience I can run circles around most designers in terms of efficiency, once I know the product and this does not take long.

I got my workout in. Tomorrow I think I’ll do the 1/3 HIIT / 2/3 yoga format.

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Warm-up: (10/30×6=4min) jump rope intervals


New Years Eve Workout by Christine Comeau

20:17 no rest tabata pairs (20 secs move #1, 17 secs move #2 x4) 6:23
With 8lb vest. Kicked my ASS. Haven’t been wearing it lately.

1. Tuck jump burpee (tuck at top and the bottom)
a. Toe touch jacks
2. Box jump burpee
a. Box jumps
3. Plank hop + vertical frog jump
a. Plank hops
4. High knee runs + drop and pop
a. High knee runs
5. Broad jump + bunny hop back
a. Bunny hop
6. Skaters
a. SL box jumps (on the floor)

DumbBELL Time Pyramid (50:10:30:10:15:10 complete for each move before moving on) 18:45 mins
1. Squat slam + halo up 20
2. RL fwd lung and lateral raise chop 10
3. SA snatch to split lunge right 15 I was thinking I wouldn’t like this move & was right. I’d rather do a stationary clean & press w/ SA and 20lb
4. Staggered push up + tuck jump over block
5. LL fwd lunge and lateral raise chop
6. SA snatch lunge left 15
7. Squat and press, drop weights and squat jump 40 This really DID send my heart rate through the roof, and for some reason swings with a kettle bell (next move) are extra rocket-y for me. 
8. Kettlebell swing 35 Reg height, to shoulder level Had to hit pause after 50-sec interval to let my heart rate lower. Took the time to make notes 🙂
9. Staggered push up + t-stand press 15

AMRAP (5 minutes- start at 10 reps per move, every round remove one rep)
Score: only got thru the 10s and 9s complete & to 6 star jumps in the 8s.
1. Toe touch jacks
2. SL tricep pushups
3. Star jumps
4. X & O abs (low boat x to tuck abs)


Reps This set was counting down in reps from 10-1, for a NYC thing. I get that it’s a change of pace & is playful but I wanted more reps so I did 10 of all & changed the last move.

Time = 12min Hadda run out of the room a couple times to fetch equipment I’d forgotten
10 reps plank + leg kick through 2=1, feet on bench
10 reps decline pike push up
10 repsV-ups hold 3lb weight bet feet & 10lbs in hands
10 reps handstand leg squeezing ball + shoulder taps (2=1)
10 reps hamstring pulls on sliders
10 reps reverse curls, 5lbs bet feet
10 reps  v ups (2=1) 3lbs
10 reps tucks 3lbs
10 reps slider pike tucks
50 crunches leg squeeze plank hold 30 seconds

Combo moves pyramid (from 8-6-4-2)
Time = 18min
1. Tricep pushup / plank hops / tricep kickback 10
2. Alt rows 20s / plank hop / standing, fast, alt rows This was tough w/ two 20s!
3. Squat jump (weights in hands) 30 + hammer curl in squat
4. Bench flutter kick abs and punches ankle weights, C-sit on bench, 10lbs each hand / Reverse Curls w/ ankle weights Decided to make this one a combo move too rather than having a descending order of reps with a somewhat arbitrary break.

(Total time = 1:28)

Yoga

  • About 15min

 

GOD/S I hate that walk #DoschRd #PDX

It so much reminds me of walking along the sidewalk less, often ditch-lined streets in Anjuna, Goa India. You’re so often treated to that “taking your life in your own hands” feeling. You’ve gotta pay attention! That’s for sure. It’s a very tangible way to practice staying “present”.

Thankfully Charlie alway picks me up later 🙏

Portland often felt like India to me in the first year. I can’t explain how, right now, but it did. I guess it could be summed up as a viscerally transformative feeling.

Google maps says the walk is 22min, but it always takes me closer to 30 that feel like 45. Today I had to pass some roadwork, where the two skinny, windy lanes were reduced to one, with people standing & holding the big orange flags at either end. As I approached from the left I thought, How do I get through this mess? The work was on my side & there didn’t seem to be an easy way through so I trotted to the right side of the street & hustled by.

The burly flag holder at the other end looked at me sympathetically & said, I used to live out on Drummond(?) Road & had to do a walk like this ALL the time. 

I responded with I hate this walk. 

But I survived. On the bus now.