1-2) Magical Schooling of the Spirit, 2) Thought Discipline #mantra #hermetics

I moved on, January 2nd, from 1-1 after an abbreviated second attempt to do things “by the book”.

Focus awareness on one thought (mental driste) while you discard / suppress other thoughts. Hmmm… “I am a well-paid, prolific Artist and Designer.” Somewhere in the middle  of the two weeks this changed to “I am a prolific, highly paid Artist and Designer.” I also pretty much accepted of myself that I’ll practice as often as I want, which is mostly just mornings, as part of my daily, seated half-hour in padmasana, meditating.


I may combine 1-3, Absence of Thoughts, some night time pranayama. Watched this clip by Psycho Sorcerer on YouTube, and I think maybe I should research the Middle Pillar ritual. It’s as involved as the LBRP (Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram). It’s kind of involved. You have to look at a lot of sources, make notes, practice pronunciations etc. It takes a little bit before you can even start practicing these things seriously.

  • Day 1, 1-2-1 √ 
    • 5min Did this first exercise in my post sit savasana. As I’ve said before, when I sit in padmasana for more than 15/20 minutes, the top foot & calf tend to go numb, from the weight of the other foot pressing on the thigh. I’d meant to grab my mala beads and “tick” off the beads for my mental mantra, but I forgot to grab them before I took my seat. So I used the alternate, finger method.
  • Day 1, 1-2-2 √ 
    • 5min Almost forgot! Used my mala beads this time. Not much to say here b/c the mind doesn’t wander so much at all. I’m including a link to a bit of dream recall. It’s an instance when I remembered a fictional element from a previous dream in a new one.
  • Day 2, 1-2-3 √ 
    • 6min Did it after my morning sit.
  • Day 2, 1-2-4
    •  6min Missed it… I did think about it but I was hiding in my room during jam night, sipping continual shots of tequila.
  • Day 3, 1-2-5 √ 
    • 8min Jumped up by 1min a day early b/c I decided to make this part of my half hour, seated meditation. There’s a certain bell that rings (within the masking sounds of Tibetan bells and rain) that let’s you know when you’re at the 22min mark. I picked up my mala beads at that point and started internally repeating my mantra. It worked excellent. You’re in pretty deep by the 22min mark, and picking up some beads does not disturb that. Therefore I will stick to 8min for the morning part of these twice daily exercises, and I hope to improve consistency in the evenings.
  • Day 3, 1-2-6 √ 
    • 7min Did it! Using the mala beads to mark reps (though I don’t count the total) is a good visual reminder. I got up to go get my phone charger in the office last night, before turning out my light, and saw the beads and remembered.
  • Day 4, 1-2-7 
    • 8min
  • Day 4, 1-2-8 
    • 8min
  • Day 5, 1-2-9
    • 9min Was planning to do the 8min, during the last part of my daily seated meditation. This is what I’d decided on! But I accidentally started the more silent, no bells or time cues track Immersion, and I didn’t notice until I was fully in! I took this as a sign I should keep my seat for the full half hour & then sit an additional 9-minutes interally reciting my mantra for this exercise. Interestingly, when I concentrated I could “hear” my voice. This is some practice for the sensory working coming… That bit’s going to be hard.I’m already bored with exercise 1-2 and want to move on. Specifically I want to get to the black & white mirror lists & get that over with. I’ll probably get to it right around my 50th birthday. Awesome! Nothing like a “reckoning”, as if I haven’t been doing enough of it the past couple years.If I have 100% consistency through day 7, I’ll consider moving to 1-3, and spending only a week there as well. What is the point of playing by all the rules if you’re the teacher? They say that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. This is an old hermetics thing, and of course I recognized it from the (younger) world of traditional vinyasa yoga, astanga. I used to like to say, in my last years of full-time practice, “When the student is ready, the teachers disappear.”
  • Day 5, 1-2-10
    • 9min I didn’t want to, but I remembered and did it. Putting the mala beads next to the bed (after I’m done with them in the morning) is a really good, visual cue.
  • Day 6, 1-2-11 √ 
    • 8min This was a really fidgety sit at the beginning, but boy did it get deep once I picked up my mala beads. It’s now programmed into me that the first thing I want to do in the morning, after coffee time, is Sit, and do my mantra. More here.
  • Day 6, 1-2-12
    • Missed another one! Had a little bit too good of a time last night. I’ll have to finish out the 2 weeks in that case, I guess.
  • Day 7, 1-2-13 
    • 8min
  • Day 7, 1-2-14 
    • 10min
  • Day 8, 1-2-15 
    • 8min
  • Day 8, 1-2-16
    • Willfully skipped it. This New England winter, isolated on The Hill, in the fucking snow, is NOT making me cheery. And then there was another kitchen demerit & another non placement via Creative Circle. 
  • Day 9, 1-2-17 
    • 8min Woke up morose.

      That was a hard sit today. My mind is going a dark directions, and I’m just gonna go with it. I’d prefer to stay in my office all day, honestly. Sigh sigh.anyway as soon as the blood circulation returns to my right foot and I get up off the floor again, I’m going to do the banishing ritual. I haven’t practiced that in a while, but it’s probably a good idea in light of the rehearsal magic.

  • Day 9, 1-2-18
    • Willfully skipped it. 
  • Day 10, 1-2-19 
    • Another fidgety sit. I break my seat all the time! Seated meditation is so difficult, and every time I get myself there in the morning, I think ” I should really be doing this at night too!” I’ve been trying to work on the recollection thing a little bit with the meditation, so extending the first hermetics exercise past two weeks. I think this is helping me with dream recall, and last night I dreamed I was working on a portrait in oils, the lips at the time I woke.

      My mind kept wanting to plan a yoga practice. And I was aware of a stiffness in the right thoracic.

      1. Standing & fundamentals
      2. Pinca M / upavistha konasana
      3. Pinca M / malasana
      4. Eka pada sirsa
      5. Ardha matseyendra
      6. 2nd to laghu vajrasana, EPRK, kapo B
      7. Back bending
      8. Finishing
  • Day 10, 1-2-20
    • 10min
  • Day 11, 1-2-21
    • 8min
  • Day 11, 1-2-22
  • Day 12, 1-2-23 
    • 8min Well I missed not only the evening session yesterday, but also the morning sit. I hardly ever miss that! But Charlie and I had plans to go cross country skiing up on Mount Hood, and I would’ve delayed us by 40 minutes if I had insisted on meditating. And then I was thinking maybe I’d do it in the evening, but we stopped at a brewpub in Woodstock on the way home… I think I’ll probably end up missing more than half the scheduled hermetics exercises! But whatever. It’s not like I’m in school for this, or getting graded on it.
  • Day 12, 1-2-24 
    • Skipped it even on a NB! It’d be a good idea, but I just do not like to sit at night, generally speaking.
  • Day 13, 1-2-25 
    • 8min Wow! I’m two days away from moving onto the next thing! I’m still working on the recollection bit, which is exercise 1. How do you repeatedly direct your focus but remember the thoughts that creep in? Working on this seems to help dream recall. Link
  • Day 13, 1-2-26
    • 10min skipped it! of course
  • Day 14, 1-2-27 
    • 10min Didn’t get as much sleep as I’d have liked last night, though it doesn’t matter much as I have no firm schedule here in the black hole. Henry woke me up barfing up a hairball at 5:30am. I thought about my dream for some time.I was back in NYC, and had somehow gotten into one of those low-income housing situations that in reality take 20 years on a list to accomplish. But even then I was going to have real problems paying the rent. I had a job supposedly lined up, with some professor in a school… Was in the class with a good friend (one of the ones I thought would stick with me through this phase but didn’t). I was aware she’d hooked up with him. Then he made a comment to her about the benefits. She and I were sitting on the floor, leaning against a wall. I moved closer & whispered, Did you take that job I was expecting? Yes. I grabbed my stuff, stood and left, crying all the way.The dream was basically me roaming about the city crying hysterically. There was a scene in a gym. I was just in there moping about, not exercising. But I do remember feeling that my feet knew the city SO WELL, that I could climb the steps out of a subway stop, looking down and crying, and still know the way.
    • Post meditation thoughts are here.
  • Day 14, 1-2-28
    • Skipped it, cause night time & dinner. We’d had plenty of wine & stayed up late. Watched Zombieland (he’d never seen it).
  • Day 15, 1-2-29  √
    • And I was supposed to move on today, but I forgot. No matter cause I missed so many. I wonder if I should change my numbering system to how many times I actually practice a certain exercise vs how many times I’m supposed to, according to Bardon’s instructions.Like an ass I really hurt my right knuckle, the one with all the pins in it. I was playfully punching Charlie in the chest, quite hard. Didn’t hurt at the time, but… Hurts to type is what I’m saying. I’ll have to keep this short. Memo.
  • Day 15, 1-2-30  √
    • And I did a 2nd, half-hour sit, finally using the Immersion, Holosync track! Time to post this & be done.
Advertisements

#HIIT warm-up & #ashtanga #yoga

Fuck the fucking snow. Fuck this winter. Fuck corporations in general and especially fuck athletic corporations.


Obviously the max of 223 below is a Polar monitor glitch. I didn’t catch blip while working out, but I do believe the average because I was burning really high.


We’d decided to go to an early evening movie yesterday, not knowing this latest fucking storm would dump New England levels of snow. I was the one who suggested we get our grocery shopping done early – to toot my own horn, because if I don’t no one else will – and it was a damn good thing because it was already getting pretty hairy by the time we headed home. And judging by the stocks the food co-op had right before the last snow, there would’ve been very slim pickings by that fucking point.

The main point of my mentioning that is with the shopping and the movie I didn’t get a workout in yesterday. You can be sure that this morning I: meditated; did my mantra; did the banishing spell and then got my workout in. Hey, with this storm I lose the chance to make any pocket change this week. And I lost another week due to the fucking cold. I’ll have my endorphins, thank you.

IMG_0025.JPG

HIIT warm-up

1. Jugglers High Knees
2. Burpee
3. Jump Kick (right)
4. Jump Kick (left)
5. Russian Kicks
6. Squat Jump
7. Mountain Climber
8. Lunge Hop (right)
9. Lunge Hop (left)
10. High Knees Tap
11. Frogger
12. Heel Tap Squat Jump
13. 2 Plank Jack/s, 2 Knee In to Opp Arm
14. Alt Pistol Pop Up Note to self: pistols should go in the first third of a set this long!
15. Low Jack

Yoga

About 72min

  • Suryas & fundamentals
  • Marichy C & D
  • Second to Laghu Vajrasana, EPRK, Kapo B (x2?)
  • Urdhva D, 3 drop backs, 3 ticks Takes about 1hr to get to finishing with this format
  • Finishing

Writing & studying in the morning is relaxing / my latest read

On my creative slacker existence & a little on my personal artistic process

Another late start today! I did a NB¹ yesterday. Despite that I wasn’t out of bed in time to see Ch off for work. I was gathering up my stuff for coffee time (glasses, phone, laptop, snot rag) and saw him drive off in the van. I waved. Toodles! So what will the renunciate hermit occupy herself with today? I’ll sit. I’ll repeat my mantra. I’ll work on The Deck, the latest thing.

I drag my heels when it comes to the “finishing”. I don’t want to commit. It’s not as fraught with danger as it used to be, when I was in art school and would sometimes “kill” a piece. I’d be going along and the composition would be balanced and healthy, and then I’d over work, realize things had gone wrong, keep working (with increasing desperation) until it was truly dead and then continue to flog it for some time.

Now it’s different. For one I’m not doing anything for approval or validation (“winning” the group critique, the solid As I pursued so vigorously). Now that I’m older and somewhat wiser I see all of the marks as valid in a way. I’m not so much making something as I am forming a record of my observances and actions. I’m also mixing media at will. Hardly anything I do is just one media. This is very new. There are no rules! This is because nothing really matters, anyone can see…

I’m finally ok-again with really working on something. After an intense session, it’s best to put it away, and not look at it at ALL, for a week. Even just 24 hours is hugely beneficial though, if your deadline doesn’t permit such a leisurely pace.


IMG_9971.JPG

I did make it to Powell’s yesterday, after having stopped for a vegan high school lunch at Veggie Grill and a new hoodie at Gap. I was looking for another historical, non fiction title actually, but this is about another student of Hermes Trismegestus, named and translated (saved) by the Greeks in 2 or 3rd century BC / also known as the ancient Egyptian god Thoth.

The star of our biography: Acarat, Count Cagliostro, otherwise known as Joseph Balsamo to the French, lived 1743 – 1795. Sentenced to life in prison at the end, by the good, old Inquisition. I’m pretty sure Franz Bardon got harassed by the god police at the end as well, but I haven’t found a bio of him yet.

Whatever you call him, our Count Cagliostro lead an amazing life. He seems both highly shady, and spiritually talented, in healing and other occult arts like very accurate psychic predictions. (I’m only on page 30 but I’m taking notes. When I read to study, I require physical books, as well as a pen and highlighter, lol.)


¹ no booze

A moderate temperature is SUPPOSED to be 1 of the things Portland has going for it

Not this year! It’s a good thing I kept the 22 year old Grizzly. (Wish I had the money to get new faux fur put in but I don’t.) It’s a tights under jeans kind of day. I’m actually heading downtown to do some office cleaning. Moving from NYC to Portland is the same thing as moving from a “3rd world” country to the USA. Your previous credentials are rendered irrelevant. I’m a doctor in my country.

So I started the 2nd hermetics exercise. This time I’m going to keep a log & publish it as one entry when I’m done. Makes more sense. I tacked it onto a 22min sit. Normally I sit for 30min but I’ve gotta catch the last bus 51 of the morning at 9:08. If you wait longer than that, you’re fucked, in this zone.

Oh and my replacement 20lb dumbbell finally arrived! I’m not sure if it’s exactly the same weight as the old one, but I can alternate which hand holds which weight. At least now I don’t have to hurt my hands trying to hold two 10s at the same time, and I can up my load by 10lbs in many more moves. Gonna do a late afternoon routine today.

 

A bored (and wronged) witch is a dangerous witch, PDX

Reversal Part 2

I probably should’ve waited to add the valerian root to my noxious blend! Every time I spit flem into my coffee can cauldron I get a whiff, lol. The gunk in my sinuses has thankfully loosened enough so I can breathe. I’m still blowing my nose fairly constantly, and my Vaseline still comes to bed with me every night for post blow application (and is by my side all day). The first plan was to keep adding to the mix as long as I’m coughing, but I think I may bury it tomorrow, and it can keep steeping on a semi permanent basis.

I’m using the fruits of my illness as a tools, see. I have suffered emotionally to a huge extent, and the social isolation has taken a big toll on the robustness of my health. So I will take my illness, suffering and all the negative feelings that generates and put it allllll into the mix to send back.


I’ve decided to take another rest day from exercise. I had to work out the day before yesterday, as days of lying in bed had made my back so sore. Yesterday I chose a no-impact routine, though it was one of Julia’s. It took a lot out of me. Too much. I hadn’t eaten a substantial meal since Christmas Day & I nearly told Charlie I didn’t want to go to Rogue for burgers after all. I’m glad I rallied. Also glad I thought to bring a notepad & pen with me, as it’s most often loud in there and last night it was.


Rogue

We had the same waiter as the last visit. I’d asked C to tell him I had laryngitis so he wouldn’t think I was rude by not communicating at all. The funny thing was that after that he wouldn’t look at me, as if I were sporting some deeply embarrassing deformity. I could still smile and nod!

And then they were having a sale on some of their bottled beers and C asked if we could get a case of the IPA we were drinking. The table flyer said, “Ask your server about our selections!”, or something like that. The waiter goes, Uhh… I could check and see if we have it if I get a chance. C was momentarily taken aback and the waiter left. So C grabbed one (from the other room) and then wrote on the table flyer, “Actually the server would prefer you check yourself.

I still like that place. It’s satisfyingly divey.


Tonight we’re going to check out the cafe outpost of an expensive, foodie-type place (think single bit sized “portions” swimming in huge, fancy plates) that I spent some time on Twitter making fun of today.

castagna.jpg

The cafe is still pricey, but like a quarter of the “fahncy” restaurant, and I’m pretty sure you might even get half plates of food, or C must think so as he wouldn’t have suggested we try it. Occurred to me that it might’ve been a mistake to reserve the table using my Open Table account, in that case, lol, but C couldn’t remember his password. Or I typed it in wrong.

Things about Portland that suck

Portland restaurants are really not any cheaper than NYC restaurants, and there’s a huge gap in the medium range, comfy cafe level. You’ve either got brewpub or EXPENSIVE, it seems. And I never saw a fee for splitting an entree anywhere in NYC. I went to a so-so Italian place in Sellwood on a pre Ch internet date once, and was shocked to see they’d bill you $5 if you wanted an entree served on two plates. Da fuck?

Also interesting, two of the places I liked best when I was trying to be vegan and virtuous are closing. Portobello is one of the few places that comes sort-of close to NYC levels. Like, why do vegan places here have to be like biker bars serving only junk food, or look like fast food restaurants where you might want to have lunch but NEVER dinner? I don’t get it. Portobello serves decent food and at least as a B- ambiance, but they’re done on the 31st.

Vtopia, the vegan cheese place and cafe, is now crowd sourcing to try to stay open, so you know they’re done. I used to live within walking distance and liked going there. C and I have been together several times, but the last time we went we found a new owner and there was no wine, because apparently the liquor license does not transfer. That makes NO sense! And while the owner was nice, the cheese case looked barren and depressing and I remember the detail that they served us each about 1 tablespoon of dressing with our salads and it was impossible to get attention to get any more, even though there were maybe 1 or 2 other occupied tables at best. I had a strong feeling it wouldn’t last, and we weren’t ever motivated to return.

Start 2: #Hermetics, practical exercises have begun #witch #yogi #artist

initiation-into-hermetics-1

Fruity is the opposite of fruitless

I’ve read up through the first chapter of practical exercises. I have a background in yoga, self reflection via journaling and formal, seated meditation. Therefore I am doing each exercise the two weeks recommended for the somewhat experienced. Exercise 1 will take me to Christmas! That’s funny.

I finished that chapter around mid November but I was waiting to get my servitor going before starting another thing in addition to everything else. There’s the daily, seated meditation. I also had to practice a banishing ritual a bunch of times, among other things. One can only spend so much time per day engaged in such fruity endeavors.

FullSizeRender 4.jpg

There are 10 exercises in Step 1, so that’s 20 weeks, assuming I’m 100% committed and don’t drop the ball at any point. [Totally dropped the ball! I made it 2.5 days only. I knew the night time exercises would be the problem. That doesn’t go along with the Portland slacker lifestyle, anything involving thought & discipline in the evening. Nevertheless I will try again.]

1. Magical Schooling of the Spirit

  1. Thought Control Observance

    • Bardon calls it “control”, but it’s really just observing. You start with 5min twice a day, adding 1min to each session until you’re at 10min twice. Whatever position you choose your spine should be straight. Since I practice a formal meditation I lie down for this one. You’re supposed to observe your thoughts and see what you can remember after. That’s it. The thing with me is I’m already pretty good at returning the thoughts to my chosen, internal driste when I’m practicing, paying attention. I’ve quickly figured out with this exercise that I can limit my note taking or struggling to remember by limiting my verbal thoughts.
    • Day 1, 1-1-1

      My left foot was numb. That was the foot that was on top in padmasana. It always falls asleep. Whatever foot’s on top. Because of the weight of the other foot pressing on the inner thigh. It happens after about 20 minutes. This exercise followed my 30 minutes seated meditation. Sick! Kept wanting to open my eyes & fidgeted a lot. Was thinking about putting my contacts in & doing a face mask. Can I exercise today? I’ll have to see.

    • Day 1, 1-1-2
      Toenail clippings are better than fingernail clippings for magic. My cat, Henry, who is near me. Thinking about that movie jungle book the orange flower, which is fire. Feeling sick.

    • Day 2, 1-1-3

      Six minutes is a long time. I have to pee. Thinking about the glob of mucus I coughed up this morning. It was disgusting. “Return to sender”. If the transfer of this illness was it all intentional, I want to send it back threefold. Crows. I need to try to exercise later.

    • Day 2, 1-1-4
      My mind is very still. Listening. Listening to Henry he’s grooming. Chicken. I thought about the chicken he demanded last night it was fun. My pimple. Yes I thought of that too. That’s really about it for six minutes
    • Day 3, 1-1-5
      Sick. My throat hurts. My head hurts. Alcohol and colds. I have organized and lying in bed. Thought about trying to get Charlie to do the stupid exercise with me. Now we’re not doing anything special for the holiday, but that I guess that’s OK since I’m sick. Disgusting.
    • Day 3, 1-1-6
      I’m in to the congestion phase of my cold. I’m having trouble breathing through my nose. I’ll have to try to sleep propped up on two pillows tonight. Henry kept interrupting exercise, wanting to play. The sea bout the chicken dinner we made tonight. That’s pretty much it.
    • Day 4, 1-1-7 (8 min now)

      Mouth breathing. I just blown my nose. I still need to meditate today. I need to light the reversal candle. Imagining my skeleton, my head and muscles, and the congestion in my neck and around my ears. Thinking about bodyrock. I do want to exercise today. The rest of the time I’m basically lying here motionless.

    • Day 4, 1-1-8

      Rehearsal time! I’m losing my voice now. I just noticed. Anyway wasn’t even to this at all. Eight minutes seems like a long time night, when you’re really sick. But I went upstairs and came up here at 7:30 PM and I’m still awake. And I had practically a whole syringe of Candace will tonight. This was after A bottle of excellent red wine with Charlie over leftovers. We had a nice meal today, but I was really too sick to enjoy myself at any point. Yesterday was a better day. But I made myself sick or by working out, or we just gonna happen anyway. I didn’t meditate today! Oh well. I just got off Twitter again. I have been trying to go to sleep and then they started wanting to write a work out for myself. I need to do mostly (yoga) but when I want to do a short specific kit, it seems like you all the best thing to do is write my own. This is in the yoga I know exactly what I’m after, areas of what to avoid working…

    • Day 5, 1-1-9
      I’ll just type in here directly, as I’ve got no voice at all to use for the voice memo, like I’d been doing. Was reflecting on how losing my voice – a blocked Vishuddi chakra – is SO SYMBOLIC. I’d purposely created a servitor with two prominent, visible chakras, the ajna & vishuddi. But now, right, I’ve got “no voice in the world”. I sat before hand, with what remains of my first reversal candle burning in front of me. I tried directing all of the sadness, depression and anger I’ve felt over the past two years into it. All of the emotional effects of my disenfranchisement also need to return to sender. I didn’t do an uncrossing before I created my servitor… Maybe this is why she has not been as effective as  hoped, yet. I’d missed more days of seated meditation. Today I was able to mostly hold my seat, but I did have a couple coughing jags. One was so violent I almost threw up on my lap. Wouldn’t have been much there. So far today I’ve only had black coffee, herbal tea and one caramel.
    • Day 5, 1-1-10
      Smashed the mirror for my first reversal spell tonight. It felt good. My hammer… it’s one I stole from my dad to take to art school and I’ve had it since. Reminds me of the hammer in The Earth Abides, a classic dystopian tale given to me by my dad. Had some beer & even some tequila too. Because fuck it.
    • Day 6, 1-1-11
      This was supposed to be 10min but I did 9 by mistake. I’d actually missed a full day in the heat of the illness, but I’ve accepted the fact I’m not going to do this stuff “by the book”, even if I’m following a book.

      DREAMS: was on the beach with Henry. It was kind of cool for the beach, but I thought he was getting too hot (at one point I let him off the leash & he almost got away). Took him to a shady area and suddenly we’re inside! In a version of that square, many-roomed, sometimes haunted apartment dreamland likes to take me to. It’s probably based on the place in Brooklyn that I shared with Ernie. Then I’m back on the beach & Jocelyn is there & I’m telling her enthusiastically she should visit while I’m still (able) to live there, while aware I’m over stepping in familiarity levels just a bit. She’s in LA in real life now. She left Portland shortly I’d arrived after living here 8 or 9 years & was never “we should get together”.

      Another one I’m practicing 3rd with Laura, and I’m moving really slowly, not even trying to keep up since I never practice that series anymore. For some reason I’m totally blowing smoke up her ass with flattery. “Oh you’re so FAST! How do go DO it?” Etc.

      Something about a Donald Dump Siri…

    • Day 6, 1-1-12

      I forgot to do my formal, seated meditation again… actually annoyance got in the way. I feel like I haven’t had a good meal since Saturday, was promised lunch, got a nonchalant nothing & had scavenged eggs & a workout (thank gods) instead. Anyway every time I remember this exercise I don’t wanna do it but what ELSE have I got going on? I haven’t been creative in over a week & I couldn’t interest myself in watching any shows tonight.

      Thinking about killing my servitor. I can’t feel any real gratitude these days. I knuckled down slightly after her “birth” but that was more a placebo effect. There have been no gigs…

      Creative Circle called about something I’d applied to right b4 Xmas & I just watched the phone ring as I had no voice. Emailed back. I never get excited about those anymore tho cause a placement has yet to happen.

      Think I’ll tranq up (getting to be a bad habit but this COUGH) and go to sleep.

    • Day 7, 1-1-13
      Up to 10min sessions now, and C seems to know when I’m doing it. He comes in! Add to that I can’t do the voice memo thing b/c it’d strain my voice too hard, trying to speak loud enough for the phone. So…DREAMS: The kids (source of this horrible, horrible cold) were home & I had the unpleasant “surprise in the kitchen”. I’d read some book on art theory / criticism and Cy and I had had a conversation about it before they left. In real life this wouldn’t happen! Apparently I’d asked her for some opinions on xyz, and in a challenging tone she followed up. She wanted to know if I thought she’d be a good art critic or philosopher. Too funny. This is another thing that’d never happen.I told them I’d been thinking to get a masters at RISD.

      In another segment, I was at this agency thing, run by a guy similar to Christian Slater’s character in Mr. Robot. I was supposed to come up with $80,000 to have them “redo” me, get a packaged portfolio out of me.

      Dream self – if no one ever wants to even MEET you, how are you going to show off an $80,000 portfolio? Silly.

    • Day 7, 1-1-14
      Missed this one.
    • Day 8, 1-1-15
      Decided to just do what I remembered from my dreams and seated, 30min meditation here. I wish you could embed .m4a files directly in wordpress, but you cannot. Link.
    • Day 9, 1-1-16
      I’m inconsistent with this exercise but I’ve finally accepted that’s the way it’s going to be. I already do a 30min formal meditation in addition. Also I read ahead just a bit and I’m really working on trying to “positive-ify” my thoughts before going to sleep, as well as repeating the banishing ritual. Recollections from last night’s main dreamLink.
    • Day 10, 1-1-17
      Did today’s “recollection” after my 30min sit, and I’ve decided I’m going to move on to exercise 2. I should’ve done this one twice a day for two weeks, making 28 entries, but this is the 2nd pass & I’d rather move on. It’s not like I’m getting graded on this.

Anxiety levels are high today #Christmas #crazies

I guess I am not immune! My seated meditation didn’t relieve it either. But at least I did a little drawing and got my “don’t blow yer brains out” workout in.

I’ve gotta get to work on a reversal spell already. I’ve got most of the tools already, but I have to go back & select / fine tune a specific ritual.

IMG_9860.JPG

Warm-up: (10/30)x6=4min Accidentally did 7x b/c forgot to start my monitor b4 the first interval


Day 3: Burpee Around the Christmas Tree

No vest for any of this. It gets my shoulders too tight to do a push-up focused routine with the vest. It’s way better (for me) for lower body with some upper body sets.

PART 1: x min

Tabata pairs 20:10 8x, 4 mins per pair + reps 

Set 1:
1. Plank jack + shoulder tap (2) to plank tuck jump
2. Wide curl Arnold press 30

10 burpee squat hold bi curl 30 curl in low squat, stand, then squat down & release curl again

Set 2:
1. Lateral step up to curtsy lunge 30 (switch legs after 2 rounds)
2. Single weight front raise. Turn to 1 side lunge & lift weight to overhead raise, alt sides 10 first 2 rounds was too light. 15lbs a little heavy. Also very hard to pivot feet on carpeting.

10 decline spider push-up (1) burpee air lunge jump like a super high switch lunge jump

Set 3:
1. Step up to rev lunge (switch legs after 2 rounds) 30 same foot that steps on the bench lunges back
2. Close bent row to upright row 30

10 twisted burpee (twisted mtn climber bottom, twisted switch Lunge at top) no push-up

Set 4:
1. Crab toe touch to side plank toe tap Roll onto side of foot you lift to touch (leg lift, tap front, back & set back down for crab (switch sides after 2 rounds)
2. Y presses, single-single-dbl 26

10 alt oblique burpee t stand dip alt sides

Set 5:
1. SL Mat hop + commando (switch legs second round) hop to each side & do a plank walk
2. Tricep kickbacks, single-single-dbl 26 Have been plateaued at 10lbs each arm here for awhile, bc I thought it’d be too clumsy hanging onto an additional 3lb weight w/ thumbs. I did it today! Made a difference.

10 SL tricep burpee hitch kick I really like this burpee variation!

(Time to this point 45:00)


PART 2:

No rest Tabata 20:10 8x 4 mins per paired move = 13min
30 sec rest in between rounds

1. Shalabhasana burpee: shoulder taps
2. Dive bomber burpee 2 star jumps: plank jacks
3. Bulgarian DL to SL pushup: Box jumps

PART 3:

Daniela’s Cardio AMRAP 8 minutes 8 reps each. 2 full rounds, a few seconds over to finish the last round, despite the fact that I forgot to omit the push-ups for move 3!
Wore my weighted vest for this set as it’s mostly lower body
1. Squat jump / heel click
2. Tornado switch lunges Front leg crosses in front of the back
3. Cannonball burpee Tuck jump in plank & at the top, no push-up
4. Star jumps
5. Froggy pushup plank tuck jump

PART 4:
Mini Pyramid Burnout upper body:
10 wide bi curl to Arnold presses 30
8 front raise to twist and OH raise 15 Each time u come to the center = 1 rep
6 close row to upright rows 30
4 Y presses SSD 26
2 tricep kickbacks SSD 30

Mini Pyramid Burnout Booty:
10 reps – 4 plank jack shoulder taps & plank tuck jump Balls of feet sore here – ill fitting, cheap sneakers bah.
8 lat step ups to curtsy/leg 30 Same leg curtsies as steps up
6 step up rev lunge/leg 30 Same leg lunges as steps up
4 crab toe touches to side plank toe taps/side
2 SL mat hops +commando

(Total time 1:23)