Not this year! It’s a good thing I kept the 22 year old Grizzly. (Wish I had the money to get new faux fur put in but I don’t.) It’s a tights under jeans kind of day. I’m actually heading downtown to do some office cleaning. Moving from NYC to Portland is the same thing as moving from a “3rd world” country to the USA. Your previous credentials are rendered irrelevant. I’m a doctor in my country.
So I started the 2nd hermetics exercise. This time I’m going to keep a log & publish it as one entry when I’m done. Makes more sense. I tacked it onto a 22min sit. Normally I sit for 30min but I’ve gotta catch the last bus 51 of the morning at 9:08. If you wait longer than that, you’re fucked, in this zone.
Oh and my replacement 20lb dumbbell finally arrived! I’m not sure if it’s exactly the same weight as the old one, but I can alternate which hand holds which weight. At least now I don’t have to hurt my hands trying to hold two 10s at the same time, and I can up my load by 10lbs in many more moves. Gonna do a late afternoon routine today.
I probably should’ve waited to add the valerian root to my noxious blend! Every time I spit flem into my coffee can cauldron I get a whiff, lol. The gunk in my sinuses has thankfully loosened enough so I can breathe. I’m still blowing my nose fairly constantly, and my Vaseline still comes to bed with me every night for post blow application (and is by my side all day). The first plan was to keep adding to the mix as long as I’m coughing, but I think I may bury it tomorrow, and it can keep steeping on a semi permanent basis.
I’m using the fruits of my illness as a tools, see. I have suffered emotionally to a huge extent, and the social isolation has taken a big toll on the robustness of my health. So I will take my illness, suffering and all the negative feelings that generates and put it allllll into the mix to send back.
I’ve decided to take another rest day from exercise. I had to work out the day before yesterday, as days of lying in bed had made my back so sore. Yesterday I chose a no-impact routine, though it was one of Julia’s. It took a lot out of me. Too much. I hadn’t eaten a substantial meal since Christmas Day & I nearly told Charlie I didn’t want to go to Rogue for burgers after all. I’m glad I rallied. Also glad I thought to bring a notepad & pen with me, as it’s most often loud in there and last night it was.
We had the same waiter as the last visit. I’d asked C to tell him I had laryngitis so he wouldn’t think I was rude by not communicating at all. The funny thing was that after that he wouldn’t look at me, as if I were sporting some deeply embarrassing deformity. I could still smile and nod!
And then they were having a sale on some of their bottled beers and C asked if we could get a case of the IPA we were drinking. The table flyer said, “Ask your server about our selections!”, or something like that. The waiter goes, Uhh… I could check and see if we have it if I get a chance. C was momentarily taken aback and the waiter left. So C grabbed one (from the other room) and then wrote on the table flyer, “Actually the server would prefer you check yourself.”
I still like that place. It’s satisfyingly divey.
Tonight we’re going to check out the cafe outpost of an expensive, foodie-type place (think single bit sized “portions” swimming in huge, fancy plates) that I spent some time on Twitter making fun of today.
The cafe is still pricey, but like a quarter of the “fahncy” restaurant, and I’m pretty sure you might even get half plates of food, or C must think so as he wouldn’t have suggested we try it. Occurred to me that it might’ve been a mistake to reserve the table using my Open Table account, in that case, lol, but C couldn’t remember his password. Or I typed it in wrong.
Things about Portland that suck
Portland restaurants are really not any cheaper than NYC restaurants, and there’s a huge gap in the medium range, comfy cafe level. You’ve either got brewpub or EXPENSIVE, it seems. And I never saw a fee for splitting an entree anywhere in NYC. I went to a so-so Italian place in Sellwood on a pre Ch internet date once, and was shocked to see they’d bill you $5 if you wanted an entree served on two plates. Da fuck?
Also interesting, two of the places I liked best when I was trying to be vegan and virtuous are closing. Portobello is one of the few places that comes sort-of close to NYC levels. Like, why do vegan places here have to be like biker bars serving only junk food, or look like fast food restaurants where you might want to have lunch but NEVER dinner? I don’t get it. Portobello serves decent food and at least as a B- ambiance, but they’re done on the 31st.
Vtopia, the vegan cheese place and cafe, is now crowd sourcing to try to stay open, so you know they’re done. I used to live within walking distance and liked going there. C and I have been together several times, but the last time we went we found a new owner and there was no wine, because apparently the liquor license does not transfer. That makes NO sense! And while the owner was nice, the cheese case looked barren and depressing and I remember the detail that they served us each about 1 tablespoon of dressing with our salads and it was impossible to get attention to get any more, even though there were maybe 1 or 2 other occupied tables at best. I had a strong feeling it wouldn’t last, and we weren’t ever motivated to return.
I’ve read up through the first chapter of practical exercises. I have a background in yoga, self reflection via journaling and formal, seated meditation. Therefore I am doing each exercise the two weeks recommended for the somewhat experienced. Exercise 1 will take me to Christmas! That’s funny.
I finished that chapter around mid November but I was waiting to get my servitor going before starting another thing in addition to everything else. There’s the daily, seated meditation. I also had to practice a banishing ritual a bunch of times, among other things. One can only spend so much time per day engaged in such fruity endeavors.
There are 10 exercises in Step 1, so that’s 20 weeks, assuming I’m 100% committed and don’t drop the ball at any point. [Totally dropped the ball! I made it 2.5 days only. I knew the night time exercises would be the problem. That doesn’t go along with the Portland slacker lifestyle, anything involving thought & discipline in the evening. Nevertheless I will try again.]
1. Magical Schooling of the Spirit
Thought Control Observance
Bardon calls it “control”, but it’s really just observing. You start with 5min twice a day, adding 1min to each session until you’re at 10min twice. Whatever position you choose your spine should be straight. Since I practice a formal meditation I lie down for this one. You’re supposed to observe your thoughts and see what you can remember after. That’s it. The thing with me is I’m already pretty good at returning the thoughts to my chosen, internal driste when I’m practicing, paying attention. I’ve quickly figured out with this exercise that I can limit my note taking or struggling to remember by limiting my verbal thoughts.
Day 1, 1-1-1
My left foot was numb. That was the foot that was on top in padmasana. It always falls asleep. Whatever foot’s on top. Because of the weight of the other foot pressing on the inner thigh. It happens after about 20 minutes. This exercise followed my 30 minutes seated meditation. Sick! Kept wanting to open my eyes & fidgeted a lot. Was thinking about putting my contacts in & doing a face mask. Can I exercise today? I’ll have to see.
Day 1, 1-1-2 Toenail clippings are better than fingernail clippings for magic. My cat, Henry, who is near me. Thinking about that movie jungle book the orange flower, which is fire. Feeling sick.
Day 2, 1-1-3
Six minutes is a long time. I have to pee. Thinking about the glob of mucus I coughed up this morning. It was disgusting. “Return to sender”. If the transfer of this illness was it all intentional, I want to send it back threefold. Crows. I need to try to exercise later.
Day 2, 1-1-4 My mind is very still. Listening. Listening to Henry he’s grooming. Chicken. I thought about the chicken he demanded last night it was fun. My pimple. Yes I thought of that too. That’s really about it for six minutes
Day 3, 1-1-5 Sick. My throat hurts. My head hurts. Alcohol and colds. I have organized and lying in bed. Thought about trying to get Charlie to do the stupid exercise with me. Now we’re not doing anything special for the holiday, but that I guess that’s OK since I’m sick. Disgusting.
Day 3, 1-1-6 I’m in to the congestion phase of my cold. I’m having trouble breathing through my nose. I’ll have to try to sleep propped up on two pillows tonight. Henry kept interrupting exercise, wanting to play. The sea bout the chicken dinner we made tonight. That’s pretty much it.
Day 4, 1-1-7 (8 min now)
Mouth breathing. I just blown my nose. I still need to meditate today. I need to light the reversal candle. Imagining my skeleton, my head and muscles, and the congestion in my neck and around my ears. Thinking about bodyrock. I do want to exercise today. The rest of the time I’m basically lying here motionless.
Day 4, 1-1-8
Rehearsal time! I’m losing my voice now. I just noticed. Anyway wasn’t even to this at all. Eight minutes seems like a long time night, when you’re really sick. But I went upstairs and came up here at 7:30 PM and I’m still awake. And I had practically a whole syringe of Candace will tonight. This was after A bottle of excellent red wine with Charlie over leftovers. We had a nice meal today, but I was really too sick to enjoy myself at any point. Yesterday was a better day. But I made myself sick or by working out, or we just gonna happen anyway. I didn’t meditate today! Oh well. I just got off Twitter again. I have been trying to go to sleep and then they started wanting to write a work out for myself. I need to do mostly (yoga) but when I want to do a short specific kit, it seems like you all the best thing to do is write my own. This is in the yoga I know exactly what I’m after, areas of what to avoid working…
Day 5, 1-1-9 I’ll just type in here directly, as I’ve got no voice at all to use for the voice memo, like I’d been doing. Was reflecting on how losing my voice – a blocked Vishuddi chakra – is SO SYMBOLIC. I’d purposely created a servitor with two prominent, visible chakras, the ajna & vishuddi. But now, right, I’ve got “no voice in the world”. I sat before hand, with what remains of my first reversal candle burning in front of me. I tried directing all of the sadness, depression and anger I’ve felt over the past two years into it. All of the emotional effects of my disenfranchisement also need to return to sender. I didn’t do an uncrossing before I created my servitor… Maybe this is why she has not been as effective as hoped, yet. I’d missed more days of seated meditation. Today I was able to mostly hold my seat, but I did have a couple coughing jags. One was so violent I almost threw up on my lap. Wouldn’t have been much there. So far today I’ve only had black coffee, herbal tea and one caramel.
Day 5, 1-1-10 Smashed the mirror for my first reversal spell tonight. It felt good. My hammer… it’s one I stole from my dad to take to art school and I’ve had it since. Reminds me of the hammer in The Earth Abides, a classic dystopian tale given to me by my dad. Had some beer & even some tequila too. Because fuck it.
Day 6, 1-1-11 This was supposed to be 10min but I did 9 by mistake. I’d actually missed a full day in the heat of the illness, but I’ve accepted the fact I’m not going to do this stuff “by the book”, even if I’m following a book.
DREAMS: was on the beach with Henry. It was kind of cool for the beach, but I thought he was getting too hot (at one point I let him off the leash & he almost got away). Took him to a shady area and suddenly we’re inside! In a version of that square, many-roomed, sometimes haunted apartment dreamland likes to take me to. It’s probably based on the place in Brooklyn that I shared with Ernie. Then I’m back on the beach & Jocelyn is there & I’m telling her enthusiastically she should visit while I’m still (able) to live there, while aware I’m over stepping in familiarity levels just a bit. She’s in LA in real life now. She left Portland shortly I’d arrived after living here 8 or 9 years & was never “we should get together”.
Another one I’m practicing 3rd with Laura, and I’m moving really slowly, not even trying to keep up since I never practice that series anymore. For some reason I’m totally blowing smoke up her ass with flattery. “Oh you’re so FAST! How do go DO it?” Etc.
Something about a Donald Dump Siri…
Day 6, 1-1-12
I forgot to do my formal, seated meditation again… actually annoyance got in the way. I feel like I haven’t had a good meal since Saturday, was promised lunch, got a nonchalant nothing & had scavenged eggs & a workout (thank gods) instead. Anyway every time I remember this exercise I don’t wanna do it but what ELSE have I got going on? I haven’t been creative in over a week & I couldn’t interest myself in watching any shows tonight.
Thinking about killing my servitor. I can’t feel any real gratitude these days. I knuckled down slightly after her “birth” but that was more a placebo effect. There have been no gigs…
Creative Circle called about something I’d applied to right b4 Xmas & I just watched the phone ring as I had no voice. Emailed back. I never get excited about those anymore tho cause a placement has yet to happen.
Think I’ll tranq up (getting to be a bad habit but this COUGH) and go to sleep.
Day 7, 1-1-13 Up to 10min sessions now, and C seems to know when I’m doing it. He comes in! Add to that I can’t do the voice memo thing b/c it’d strain my voice too hard, trying to speak loud enough for the phone. So…DREAMS: The kids (source of this horrible, horrible cold) were home & I had the unpleasant “surprise in the kitchen”. I’d read some book on art theory / criticism and Cy and I had had a conversation about it before they left. In real life this wouldn’t happen! Apparently I’d asked her for some opinions on xyz, and in a challenging tone she followed up. She wanted to know if I thought she’d be a good art critic or philosopher. Too funny. This is another thing that’d never happen.I told them I’d been thinking to get a masters at RISD.
In another segment, I was at this agency thing, run by a guy similar to Christian Slater’s character in Mr. Robot. I was supposed to come up with $80,000 to have them “redo” me, get a packaged portfolio out of me.
Dream self – if no one ever wants to even MEET you, how are you going to show off an $80,000 portfolio? Silly.
Day 7, 1-1-14 Missed this one.
Day 8, 1-1-15 Decided to just do what I remembered from my dreams and seated, 30min meditation here. I wish you could embed .m4a files directly in wordpress, but you cannot.Link.
Day 9, 1-1-16 I’m inconsistent with this exercise but I’ve finally accepted that’s the way it’s going to be. I already do a 30min formal meditation in addition. Also I read ahead just a bit and I’m really working on trying to “positive-ify” my thoughts before going to sleep, as well as repeating the banishing ritual. Recollections from last night’s main dream – Link.
Day 10, 1-1-17 Did today’s “recollection” after my 30min sit, and I’ve decided I’m going to move on to exercise 2. I should’ve done this one twice a day for two weeks, making 28 entries, but this is the 2nd pass & I’d rather move on. It’s not like I’m getting graded on this.
I guess I am not immune! My seated meditation didn’t relieve it either. But at least I did a little drawing and got my “don’t blow yer brains out” workout in.
I’ve gotta get to work on a reversal spell already. I’ve got most of the tools already, but I have to go back & select / fine tune a specific ritual.
Warm-up: (10/30)x6=4min Accidentally did 7x b/c forgot to start my monitor b4 the first interval
Day 3: Burpee Around the Christmas Tree
No vest for any of this. It gets my shoulders too tight to do a push-up focused routine with the vest. It’s way better (for me) for lower body with some upper body sets.
PART 1: x min
Tabata pairs 20:10 8x, 4 mins per pair + reps
1. Plank jack + shoulder tap (2) to plank tuck jump
2. Wide curl Arnold press 30
10 burpee squat hold bi curl 30 curl in low squat, stand, then squat down & release curl again
1. Lateral step up to curtsy lunge 30 (switch legs after 2 rounds)
2. Single weight front raise. Turn to 1 side lunge & lift weight to overhead raise, alt sides 10 first 2 rounds was too light. 15lbs a little heavy. Also very hard to pivot feet on carpeting.
10 decline spider push-up (1) burpee air lunge jump like a super high switch lunge jump
1. Step up to rev lunge (switch legs after 2 rounds) 30 same foot that steps on the bench lunges back
2. Close bent row to upright row 30
10 twisted burpee (twisted mtn climber bottom, twisted switch Lunge at top) no push-up
1. Crab toe touch to side plank toe tap Roll onto side of foot you lift to touch (leg lift, tap front, back & set back down for crab (switch sides after 2 rounds)
2. Y presses, single-single-dbl 26
10 alt oblique burpee t stand dip alt sides
1. SL Mat hop + commando (switch legs second round) hop to each side & do a plank walk
2. Tricep kickbacks, single-single-dbl 26 Have been plateaued at 10lbs each arm here for awhile, bc I thought it’d be too clumsy hanging onto an additional 3lb weight w/ thumbs. I did it today! Made a difference.
10 SL tricep burpee hitch kickI really like this burpee variation!
(Time to this point 45:00)
No rest Tabata 20:10 8x 4 mins per paired move = 13min 30 sec rest in between rounds
1. Shalabhasana burpee: shoulder taps
2. Dive bomber burpee 2 star jumps: plank jacks
3. Bulgarian DL to SL pushup: Box jumps
Daniela’s Cardio AMRAP 8 minutes 8 reps each. 2 full rounds, a few seconds over to finish the last round, despite the fact that I forgot to omit the push-ups for move 3! Wore my weighted vest for this set as it’s mostly lower body
1. Squat jump / heel click
2. Tornado switch lunges Front leg crosses in front of the back
3. Cannonball burpee Tuck jump in plank & at the top, no push-up
4. Star jumps
5. Froggy pushup plank tuck jump
PART 4: Mini Pyramid Burnout upper body:
10 wide bi curl to Arnold presses 30
8 front raise to twist and OH raise 15 Each time u come to the center = 1 rep
6 close row to upright rows 30
4 Y presses SSD 26 2 tricep kickbacks SSD 30
Mini Pyramid Burnout Booty:
10 reps – 4 plank jack shoulder taps & plank tuck jump Balls of feet sore here – ill fitting, cheap sneakers bah.
8 lat step ups to curtsy/leg 30 Same leg curtsies as steps up
6 step up rev lunge/leg 30 Same leg lunges as steps up
4 crab toe touches to side plank toe taps/side
2 SL mat hops +commando
This pre-solstice span of dim lighting and hill isolation is BRUTAL for me, on The Hill. I wasn’t here last December. I still had that humongous picture window to stare out of.
I two big “blows” that month though, not getting an offer for a branding gig at Nike and also not being entry-level enough (while having the nerve to submit “great” test projects) for Creative Coop. That’s when I knew I wasn’t going to be renting another apartment here in the “Economy of a Turnip” Portland. My salvation will HAVE to be remote freelance and fine art. It has to be. There is no other way.
I’m still working at being a real artist, not as much as I should, but I’m plugging away, albeit sporadically, in between incapacitating bouts of sadness and anxiety. I am reunited with my easel!* I hate to admit it, but I realized doing the math I only had it for a year or two before NYC circumstances separated us. It’s a miracle I have it again, even if we still need to get wheels and there’s a hell of a lot I need to get in order to really use it. That thing could handle one of those enormous canvases, say if I was working 5×9-feet or more. But the larger the materials the more expensive. I’m still using some 300lb arches watercolor paper I got either in college or by my mid 20s at the latest. I think it was $10 a sheet back then. And oils are super expensive… Bla, bla, bla.
*I need to give credit not just to Cathy, who had to offer to intervene twice before I realized she was serious, but also to Charlie who suggested I ask for it. I’d told him about my old easel, I guess in wistful tones. I never thought to ask for it. I knew what that would mean, in terms of my mother and the inevitable freak out. Ooooh that’d be a SHIT-STORM, I said. But I went ahead an initiated anyway. Once he gave me the idea I couldn’t help myself. Save the easel!!!
It’s a monument to a lot of things in my life, youthful optimism and a belief in my own artistic talent, to name just two. I kicked some ass at RISD, even if I didn’t have a sophisticated background.
Henry’s flea induced skin problem isn’t doing ANYthing good for my mood
He was worrying the main area this morning, while I was still lying in bed, so I picked him up to examine it while my coffee was brewing and it’s really raw, red and angry looking. What do I do? Keep him in a cone 24/7? We’ll both be miserable. But when I did that overnight, after discovery, and covered the area with salve it was much less red the next day.
Decided to just spend all day holed up thinking, if I want
So I’m in the 2016, Pacific Northwest version of the renunciate’s cave. I knew it. I’d never have come if I weren’t tricked*, so the universe made me believe I was coming here to live pretty much the same working, middle aged cat lady single existence (I’d been living before. I’d hoped to improve on the working situation, not to obliterate it!)
*This isn’t intended as blame on any individuals. A similar thing happened when my college BF and I were strongly considering moving to the NYC area and came down for a week in the summer, staying with his established Illustrator friend. We were at Scrap Bar when Axl Rose, at the very height of Guns and Roses fame, came in around 2am and sat at our table. When moving I was totally like, Oh ya, I’m totally making the right decision badgering my boyfriend into this. Rock stars sit with you & you get free beer!
The Hierophant says life is your teacher. Every experience is a lesson – a learning opportunity for growth and the solid understanding that conflicts are openings for new life to take seed. When you begin to feel oppressed by the “shoulds” and “oughts” of life – listen to your “inner” teacher. Once all the facts have been gathered by your conscious mind, they are fed into your subconscious, which sorts, assimilates and sends back a flash of intuition – the correct analysis. A simple good wish made for another puts divine power into action. As your prayers rise towards God, they are transformed into benedictions which descend from above. The search for “truth” is a prayer which is followed by illumination, consolation or grace and it always results in harmonious spiritual respiration.
Use your human situation in order to transcend your unevolved aspects. Through intuition you become united with the Universe – you learn to hold the two opposing forces of life in balance – having recognized that you can not resolve them. You “play the game” by understanding the rules and manners of the existing hierarchy and seeking out authorities in your field – making new allies by listening to your conscience. Share this wisdom with others – you are a teacher.
In the tenth position: Listen to these guides of grace shedding new light in old corners. You may view this as a new turn on an old truth or as a new pattern of truth speaking an entirely new language. It will expand your awareness by giving you new friends to play and study with. Pay more than usual attention to dreams, channeling, meditation, all inner resources, as well as the marvel of serendipity in everyday events.
I’m already playing pretty close attention to my dreams and daily, seated meditation.
Had a frustrated travel dream last night. If I could’ve knocked myself out at 7pm I’d have done so happily, relieved by oblivion. Instead I stayed up all night, obsessing about not having any good snacks and where I’d run away to if I could.
So in dreamland I’d flown to South Beach and met up with my friend Nako. We were supposed to rendezvous with Jane but difficulties ensued…
Normally you don’t do the seated mediation first, but I go in order of priority. I recently bumped my morning sit up from 22min to 30. It’s a different Holosync track and is super intense, in a deep and inward way.
Warmup: (10/30×6=4min) jump rope intervals. I had to get my body heated! It’s very temporary but is currently like the Arctic tundra around here.
Suryas & fundamentals
Backbending, 3 drop backs & 1 tick (I really should do 3 ticks but too mentally lazy)
Got up at 4:15 as planned. Was no problem cause Ch and I had an early dinner at my favorite, nearby McMenamins along with a couple muscle relaxers (beers) and I went to bed a bit after 8pm.
I did my sit and banishing ritual and then I had some extra time before the hour of Jupiter commenced, either 6:22 or 6:26am according to online sources. I had a couple candles and incense going. Turned out all electric light & did some light yoga & concentration before I started exactly at 6:22. I was finished about 6:40!
I felt a bit silly but it’s all worth a try. Ritual! Tried to get back to sleep later but I think I’ll need to wait until the caffeine wears off a bit. Later in the afternoon I’ll go into my studio, pick something to work on and call my servitor.
First part of this, about enjoying the idea of something, is applicable for a desired attitude toward this whole endeavor.
I kept hardly any books when I moved cross country to Portland. If I kept this, you can bet I found it particularly useful.
Even people who aren’t OCD Ashtangis and/or HIIT athletes get pain! I have a long history of fixing various tweaks and injuries, and I bought this back in January 2011. I love how you can look up old purchases on Amazon, I’ve gotta say. It’s keeping a no-effort diary of interests. I’m pretty sure it was when my 3rd year of full third series finally started to shred what’d been my impervious knees. (People used to describe me as “indestructible”. For a couple glorious years of expansion it certainly felt that way.)
Impermanence and injury are closely related
Had a rest day yesterday, I got the book out this morning because for the second time within a week and a half, I’ve tweaked out the left side of my neck by sleeping wrong. That’s right. How annoying! I try to be careful not to fall asleep in any overly neck-stretched position, and still… I have to admit, though, I haven’t been very good about practicing my easy-ish yoga as often or thoroughly as I know I should. I can get little minor tweaks in my weaker left arm & just ignore them…
There are specific sets stretches per area of pain, so I looked up neck pain & will try out a set tonight. Some of them I’ve done before, of course, having worked on issues with: shoulder, mid back, both knees. Ashtanga! I remember when I was learning just the beginning of second series and I did a Manju week at Shiva Shala, its lower First Ave location. That was the era of the throbbing right shoulder. I pointed to it before a back bending assist, I think, and let him know I had an injury. And he made a joke! Oh yes, yoga is a cure for everything except that which is caused by the yoga. Then he guffawed merrily. I was completely taken aback, confused and truthfully a bit scandalized. Still in my rose-colored glasses phase. How can you say that??? is what I was thinking. Later on of course I would greatly appreciate that early irreverence.
It’ll still take me probably 20/25 min at first because I have to skim through all the instructions. I’ve picked out 7 moves, but all but 2 of those are 2-sided. And I’ll work out today but I’ll leave the weighted vest out of it for a few days. I don’t need 8lbs of dead weight bouncing around on my shoulders at the moment.
Tomorrow’s the new moon (in Sagittarius I believe) ! I already set up the coffee maker in my bathroom, so when I get up just past 4 I can just hit the start button. There are preparations for the ritual!
The murk of this part of the year in the Pacific Northwest is really something. If I could, I’d get away for a good two months of it, or at least I like to imagine that, currently looking at pictures of friends in places like Thailand or Bali. But then I wouldn’t want to leave Henry for that long. I’m spared from these kinds of tough decisions by a lack of funds, but now is the time in my life that I’m supposed to buckle down and focus art. Again. #fullcircle
Advent and the New Moon
You might as well make things ceremonial right? Charlie and I are gonna make an advent wreath on Sunday. I’d wanted to do that last year when I found out about the existence of the thing, at Trinity Episcopal. I’d passed by a couple times and was intrigued by the building, and then I found out they’ve got a fantastic pipe organ and choir. I love choral music and technically I’m Episcopalian, even if I’d never heard of advent. In those days I still thought I was going to do the full-time job and apartment thing too, and figured prayer couldn’t hurt, at least. I accidentally chose the 1st day of advent to attend my 1st (of 4 I think) service, and was intrigued by the pagan feel of it all. They had a wreath making class after and for $10 you can take it home with you, but ya $ so… We’re going to make one here. Plenty of trees outside. I’d still like to have a candle holder for it though. Looked at a bunch of them on Amazon.
I particularly like this one for the price ($35) but by this point it’s too late to get it in time anyway. Maybe next year 🙂
The new moon is on Tuesday! I have to get up at like 4-fucking-am, in order to meditate and perform the banishing ritual before the first hour of Jupiter at 6:12. I just worked on my second draft of the oratory. I’ll be totally ready. I started way earlier and as an artist I have a definite edge in the imaginative.
Lastly I am REALLY STIFF & SORE for working out at night and doing the barest, minimal stretching after. I think I did a quick forward bend and that was it. Bad me. And I have to exercise today, still, in order to make my 5x tally for the week. I’ve gotta make sure to put in at least 30min yoga I’d say. Anyways it’s time to sit.