Talking to some of my best friends yesterday must’ve inspired me #freelance #artist & #designer

I’ve been industrious all morning in a true Virgo rising, list making fashion. I didn’t feel like getting right to drawing, after finishing with my meditation & hermetics practices. Instead I planned, and worked on self promotion.

  1. Organized a new set of images for a Craig’s List ad.
  2. Made new image of the spec work I’ve been doing for a local bike group’s “kit”.
  3. Posted on: my design blog, my online portfolio, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter & Pinterest. Also updated the dropbox folder I made for this collaboration.
  4. While updating portfolio I decided it’s time for a new character design sample, and I’d already been planning on drawing Charlie again soon. I’m going to combine that with my drawing a day series (more like every two weeks) AND playing around with tarot card illustrations. We’d already decided he’s going to be the King of Cups. Rocco will be part of the illustration too, because I’ve got pet portraits floating about in the back of my mind. Plus all those mythical kings have dogs, and she’s his companion animal. Set up a drawing session with him for tomorrow. I need to do quick portrait studies: front, three quarters and profile. First you create the character, and then the composition.
  5. Wrote new copy for the CL ad, this time with ranges  of piece prices and hourly rates listed. Posted the ad.
  6. Set up a recurring weekly event in iCal to run an ad every week. I don’t have to re-do every time. I can just hit repost for awhile.
  7. Updated (organized) the categories for the design blog.

And now… trying to decide if I want to work out this afternoon or if I’ll take a “real” rest day, whether I should go downtown, walk the cat, work on the latest landscape / lifestyle piece…

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Annoyances can be like games, tests of your powers of mental avoidance

Blocking shit out is a VIRTUE in hermetics.

You want to be able to focus on shit you want to attract and foster, and extremely honed focus is a skill that requires constant practice. I never heard of anyone really working on that in Astanga. In my experience, and observance of that world when I was in it, The Cult seems to mostly produce more obsessiveness and attachment. Useful tools though, the asana, when not fixated upon.

Super late start today! Granted I was hiding in my room from like 7pm on last night, avoiding jam night, indulging in a Magicians & tequila binge until midnight. Pretty sure my next episode is #11, and I’d started on 3 or 4. (Read & enjoyed all 3 of the books and I don’t much mind the made-for-TV elements of the show.) Since I can, I slept in until 9:30, not including temporary feline interruptions.

I’m going to take the bus downtown on a field trip today! Need a new hoodie FFS. I finally retired my beloved, worn to DEATH Aeropostale. Try as I might, I could never find a satisfactorily form fitting and heavy replacement. I’m pretty sure I only paid about $30, during one post Christmas sale about 10 years ago. I’d go there every winter and order up a ton of stuff. Charlie googled up an okay looking example at Gap this morning though, so I reserved one and I’ll go see. Maybe I’ll have lunch at Veggie Grill too…

I’m planning on “plein air” as soon as it gets into at least 50-degree weather.

Seriously WTF is up with all this New England weather in Portland this year? Le sigh. Too cold. But… look what’s on its way.

I know I just got my huge, studio easel back after 20 years, but the thing is I want to do more outside drawings and water media, including watercolor, watercolor, watercolor. I now have a shit ton of paint!¹ My old easel is mostly suited for oil painting, or acrylic if you can deal that. You also can’t lug it down to the waterfront to work on a touristy kind of promotional piece. I need to be doing more architecture. I should toss in some government buildings. I want to be downtown more again, and this is the kind of work I want to produce so…

I did a little bit of that last year – link 1, link 2, link 3 –  when I was tentatively getting going on spending longer amounts of time on drawings and making more of a commitment to a level of finish above “doodle”. These were volunteer illustrations for the cool, though unorganized Sustainable Today. It could’ve gone further, but then they wanted something on the level that should be billed for at least $5,000, and they waited too long to ask. Fall and winter last year I was still working frantically toward anything that could cover my second apartment, but all those efforts were not quite right. (At least she tried.)

Maybe all I need, eventually, is studio space downtown

I’ve got my doubts about oil painting working out downstairs in the dining room. It’s not a dedicated space and there would be ventilation and clean-up issues. Working in oil is also SO MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE. I’ve decided that the universe needs to pony up significantly first. All of my spiritual practices of the past six months are pointed in this direction, like an army of missiles. That’s what it’s all in service of, so we’ll see.


Maybe I’ll exercise tonight, maybe I won’t.


¹ Since I’ve started working in traditional media again, out here in Portland, I’ve decided that Utrecht is my favorite brand. Other companies make interesting novelty colors. I like some of the metallics and “shimmers”. But overall the consistency and spread is best in Utrecht. You don’t get all this oily goop that spits out.

 

 

I’ve got some good friends…

I’ve been so isolated sometimes I’m convinced I don’t have any at all, but then… I have been really letting it hang out on Facebook. I’ve got nothing to lose. I think it was either that or a complete freak out and I’m more interested in keeping my shit together.

Today was emotionally draining though

After two more equally lengthy & vicious nastygrams and several ignored calls, I got a comment from my NH friend who’d previously offered to go pick up the easel. It turns out she’s got both a corporate discount and an amenable shipping department at work. My last estimate from UPS was $600. Cathy thinks she can get it down to about half that.

I’d asked UPS to wait until tomorrow for my decision, but called them back immediately to tell them to hold it until Saturday. Apparently my mother had suddenly shown up, as they were preparing to close, saying she wanted to ship after all. These poor people stuck in the middle! They’d all been informed. Oh mam you don’t need to ask for anyone in particular. We all know about it. I then had to call her back & have an inane argument over the fact that she is not not allowed to pay for it. She’s to leave it. She’s out of the equation. End of story.

Hopefully I’ll be able to get it back together! I just couldn’t let it go. I’ve owned very little in life and I’ve been willing to let most of it go, but this was different. Part of me wonders if they gave such an inflated price because there was someone working there who was interested in taking it. Betty was trying to give it away!

The easel is symbolic of coming full circle

Whatever the fuck happens, I will get the bones of that easel out here to Portland. I never thought I’d do this. I don’t even have any oil or acrylic paints, not to mention all the other pile of supplies I’d need. I’m just going to give all the fight I’ve got left remaining into really, finally, being an artist. It won’t last long if the universe doesn’t throw me a goddamn bone already, hence the magical assistance I’ve been preparing.

I don’t think I’ll actually bother reading a book on narcissistic mothers. Not immediately anyway. I’d rather think about what I’m working on: the next illustration, the servitor, the next area of study in hermetics.

#HIIT #AMRAP (3min intervals on my!) and #yoga

Started to preview this one & then just did it along w/ the video, with several additional pauses to take my notes (& also for more recovery) along the way. I’d gotten sidetracked in a carpet design I’m working on & therefore didn’t have time for both a length preview and the execution. My output wasn’t overly high but I was low energy. No vest for the HIIT and then I only wore it at the beginning of the AMRAP. Three minute sets were killer! It’s great to challenge your body in different ways though.

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  • Body Transformation Builder by Kristin R
  • (10/50) x1 (18 min)
    13” elv Finally checked to see how high my elevation is. It’s one of Charlie’s work benches. I do have a higher elevation for some things (not jumping! I’m not a great jumper & wouldn’t trust my ability to clear it) but it’s downstairs so won’t be using it for awhile.
  1. Box Squats + Press 40lbs, touching butt to bench on the squat
  2. Oblique Side Bend + Opposite arm Hammer Curl 30lbs Standing. Bend to the side & touch weight to foot. Return to standing & hammer curl opp arm. Alt.
  3. Deadlift plank hops 40lbs
  4. Y-Press + Lat Leg Raise (Single/opp leg raise, Single/opp leg raise, Double Y) 20lbs
  5. Tricep Pushup x 2 to Down Dog Toe Touches x 2 (opp hand to opp foot)
  6. Renegade Rows in Plank with knee in (turn out at top of row w/ knee in) 20lbs
  7. Angry Donkey + Squat Jacks x3
  8. Ninja Tuck + Switch Lunge Toe Touch x2
  9. Sumo stomps (4 low) + same Side Knee Crunch x2
  10. Alt Front Lunge + Bi Curl + Warrior 3 (press up on SL into Glute Raise) 2 5lbs If I do this routine again I think I’ll change this move to be just an alt warrior 3 with front raise.
  11. OH Press + Tricep Ext with Alt Reverse Lunge 2, 10lbs
  12. RDL to Fly/curl in + Goodmorning 2, 10lbs
  13. Strict Mountain Climbers x 4 + Crossbody Mtn Climber x4
  14. Around the World Arms in ISO Squat w Alt Stepback ½ lunge2, 10lbs
  15. T-Press Up, Dip x2 to Plank tap out x 2 to opposite side T-Dip x2, repeat 10lbs
  16. Increasing Squat Jumps 3 + Jumping jacks x4
  17. Opposite Hand to Foot (Plie & Lateral Raise + hand to opp foot) 2, 10lbs
  18. Negative Pushups & Knee Drives 4 count down to floor + Press up knee drives x2

 

Strength:

(AMRAP Pyramid: 3Min/2Min/1min) (30 min)

1. Sumo Squat + Lateral Leg Raise & SA Hammer Curl, 2, 15lbs This was HEAVY for 3min! Switched to 13lbs for the 2min round & back to 15lbs for the 1min round
2. Alt Lateral Lunge touchdown + SA Fly(bring 1 weight to foot & other arm does SA Fly) 2, 8lbs for 3min & 2min rounds, 10lbs for the 1min round
3. Bent over Row, Squat, Deadlift, 15lbs Made it to here w/ my 8lb vest on & took it off when I heard “Manmaker”. Also hit pause to make this note & take a break
4. Manmakers 2, 15lb weights Paused here too on 2min round. Now I knew what was coming! Two minutes of plank.
5. Bear Crawl Plank Hop x2 / Oblique Plank Hops x2 / Cross Crunch x2

(1:02:10)

Yoga

About 25min. I did the marichys, with eka pada sirsa in the middle of ’em, no vinyasa. Felt good.

Sudden, total sense of the illusion of present reality.

I have to admit I reshuffled the deck, an additional 7x, after the first reading. I’ve never done that! It’s cheating, but I comforted myself with the thought of parallel universes. The 3 of Swords was in position 3 and I couldn’t deal.

And now to get back to work. I’ve been looking for old freelance invoices on two backup drives for like 40min & I have to admit I don’t have them anymore. They were probably on zip disks or something and now gone. I’ll have to move onto plan b, for coming up with a working proposal.

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Card 1, within: 2 of Wands

The Two of Wands indicated your creative expression – controlling a situation through your ability to make choices which create balance, integration, comfort and harmony.  Achievement in your business plans – your goals will be attained in work.  Success and courage will bring happiness.  With the correct negotiation, there could be a business partnership.  An important contract, transaction or letter is indicated.  You have completed the necessary work, your foundation is good – you are ambitious, progressive and willing to take the lead hoping to improve conditions.  Experience the creative power of your emotions – good judgment and ability can translate your ideas into reality.

Questions to Answer:

  1. What two ideas are you bringing together in a new and different way?
  2. What are you planning to accomplish?
  3. What are you competent at?
  4. What conflicting desires do you wish to integrate?
  5. At what threshold do you stand?
  6. What options do you have?

In the first position: Lifetime will involve a conscious selection from spiritual path alternatives, with the ability to help others travel with and behind you as your movements will be open an obvious, although they may be subtle.  Your disciplines and observations in which you participate with the Divine will most likely be shared by others.

Card 2, without: King of Wands

Now I can look in my recent image uploads, just the thumbnails I can see when adding a new image to the library, and see this card showed up in the same position 3 readings ago, June 14th. That was my dad’s birthday btw. Also seen on June 3rd in the same position & on May 25th in the 1st position. He’s like the Queen of Disks; he shows up a lot.

Master of your own energy, soul, spirituality, creativity, life force, passions through knowledge and experience. Justice, righteousness, illumination of what was previously dark, misdeeds and bad intentions.

The King of Wands is an indication that you are someone who is very visionary and goal-oriented. You achieve a lot because you are very clear about your future direction and how you will get there. You do not waste your time on activities or relationships that you believe will lead no-where. You never just go with the flow, instead you prefer to embark on a strong and direct course of action.

The King of Wands reminds you to lead your life with intent, vision and a long-term view. Know that even though you are experiencing challenges now this is just a part of your journey to something much more positive. Eventually, you will see this time as just a little blip on the radar and it will have simply served to make you stronger. Stay focused on your long-term goals.

The King of Wands in the present position indicates that any project you are working on is an inspired choice and will take you far. Is this the possible tarot deck?

In the second position: You have someone – a family, a partner, an angel – that you can fall back on.  And this shoulder is one who can show you the greater scope in which your difficulties are resolved as lessons learned.  With him by your side no problem will be too great to handle.

Card 3, advice: 3 of Disks

Introduction: The 3 of Pentacles is a very positive card, particularly with regard to work and career questions, but it’s a good overall omen that you are in general, doing well.

General: The 3 of Pentacles tells you that the people around you appreciate you and your efforts, and notice the quality of what you do, even if you don’t get a paycheck. The Three tells you to keep doing what you’re doing as you are on the right track (although there is always room for improvement.) You don’t need to scrap something and start again.

Work: This is an extremely positive omen with regard to work and career questions. It tells you that your work is appreciated and generally well regarded, which is always a good place to find yourself. Similarly, if you are seeking employment, this card hints that you can expect success fairly quickly.

Finances: The 3 of Pentacles is a very good omen with regard to money; it can mean that your proverbial “ship is coming in,” though it carries with it the clear caveat that you still must do your part. This is not a card about windfalls, it’s a card about fair remuneration for the work that you have done and the quality of it. Keep a positive attitude, keep plugging along, and the rewards will come. Things are looking up.

Spirituality: Looking into ancient organizations and traditions may lead you into wonderful and very deep insight now. You don’t have to join some organization unless you wish to, these insights can be gleaned simply by reading about their belief systems and organizations. Learn more about rituals from the past. They will deepen your spiritual understanding and practice.

Three of Pentacles show us persistence – clear priorities and commitments – your mind, heart and spirit moving in the same direction.  You love your work, you are well informed and you can make great progress now.  You have great skill, ability and talent – use them.  Recognition is possible – your efforts will finally be rewarded.  You are aware of the harmony that can result when you use your best skills in cooperation with other capable partners.  You have the ability to create and work out practical plans for any project – advancing step by step because you recognize and value the role of each person in any endeavor.  You ground your vision in the practical world through physical effort.

Questions to Answer:

  1. How do you work with others? “Does not suffer fools gladly”. Am accustomed to respect granted in skilled, creative positions where I’m trusted to do my job and well.
  2. What are you working on? Pricing plan for potential freelance carpet design, again. I’ve been interested in getting back into that for ages, but high end carpets took a serious dive in the big bankster crash of 2008/2009. 
  3. What is your goal? Remote creative work, with possible travel in the future.
  4. What skills are you using? All of them & adding to my skillset constantly.
  5. Are you willing to persevere? Nothing better to do and if I’m granted this time to do art, I’m going to take it.

In the third position: Healthy progress/growth presents itself.  Produce now.  You are awakening to the work that is your craft.  Raise your will to the potential that will be released when you truly apply yourself.  Now is the time for you to take charge of your affairs.  The energy you invest will be rewarded.

Page of Wands, King of Cups, Queen of Disks

I’m getting going slowly today, but that’s ok. There’s absolutely no need to rush anything, in my new slacker-artist existence in PDX.

Morning Musings

Had a nice Tuesday. Worked on my illustrations, composition revisions and catalog updating, & got in a good workout. Then Charlie and I went shopping at the two Goodwills downtown, first the more ghetto one on Burnside & then the fancy one on 10th Ave. I felt so Portland authentic! Had never once shopped in a thrift store. It’s just too hard to find my size, generally, but if one is not in a hurry… He got me a few shirts at the first stop, and then a very cute jean jacket at the second. I hadn’t realized how old, yellowed and worn my current one is looking, compared to a fresh, dark wash. My old one is from the Gap and I got it late 20s / early 30s.

After that we went grocery shopping and I made us a vegan dinner that we enjoyed with some wine. We took Henry and Rocco for one of our meandering, cat-style strolls. Sir Henry controls the pace & progression, pretty much.

I really can’t complain that jam night is here again, which it’s going to be a majority of Wednesdays now. There will be beer anyway! lol. OK, I better get cracking at “stuff”. I will try not to put in my contacts and then head straight to Twitter.

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Card 1, within: Page of Wands

Last seen, June 11 in the 3rd position. Initiators of spirit.

Page cards in the present position represent you starting life over again. The Page of Wands shows you with a new idea of taking control over your own destiny. It is a powerful card in the present position, a clean slate with momentum in your favor.

General: In general, this card indicates that things that you started some time ago are starting to come to fruition. It can also show a need for new things – new adventures, new approaches, and new ideas. The Page brings us positive energy. We must supply the follow-through, however.

Spirituality: This can be a very creative time for you, and a good time for you to actually become childlike… dream, play, be inventive. You never know what your creations during this time might come to, and at any rate you will enjoy yourself and this play will deepen and enrich your life.

Keywords: Divine inspiration, faith, enthusiasm, great heart. Messenger and message of God. Miracles. Strength of hearth and faith is sometimes far more powerful than strength or age of body. Follow your heart courageously, fearlessly.

  1. What new territories or ideas are you checking out? Content creator for social media
  2. Who is calling you?
  3. Who is enthusiastic about your endeavors and looks up to you as a mature adult?
  4. What actions are you risking to take?
  5. What are you all fired up about?

Card 2, without: King of Cups

Keywords: Master of your subconscious, knowing the self enough to not be a slave to it but to learn & derive power from it. Connecting to the source. Intoxication. Good sleep.

Introduction: The King of Cups speaks of balanced male and feminine energy; he holds all the positive qualities of both masculine and feminine. Often he indicates a literal man in your life. Usually, when he represents a ‘live person’, he’s referring to a very kind and loving man, who will generally have hair on the lighter end of the spectrum. Know that you are supported by the universe, in ways seen and unseen, when he appears.

General: In general the King of Cups represents kindness and compassion. There is an element of pure and true love in your life no matter what your situation when he appears. Nurture yourself, and allow others to nurture you, when you receive this card in a reading.

Questions to Answer:

  1. What feelings are you keeping under firm control?
  2. In what ways are you a care – giver or counselor?
  3. Who cares for you deeply?
  4. How have you established yourself creatively?
  5. In the second position:

    You have someone – a family member, a partner, an angel – that you can fall back on.  But more than financial or physical help, this is the strong shoulder to cry on, the caring ear that can listen to your problems.  This man can help heal your wounds.

Card 3, advice: Queen of Disks

Last seen June 12, 10 & June 8, in the 2nd position, June 7 in the 1st position, May 27th in the 2nd position & many other times.

The Queen of Disks creates a safe physical environment. Keywords: Safety, stability, prosperity, Physical and financial security. When you have been nurtured into a place of happiness or are bettering a person, yourself or a situation, expect the Queen of Pentacles to appear in your Tarot reading.

General: This card can indicate that you will be spending time, money, and energy on your home, getting it to be more comfortable.

Work: You are likely to make great headway now. A woman with dark hair and/or eyes may play a significant role in your working life; if so, know that she is an ally for you.

In the present position, the Queen of Pentacles signals that you are either enjoying a time now of being taken care of or are happily taking care of someone.

Finances: The Queen of Pentacles is an excellent omen when it comes to money. Your prosperity level is very likely to be increasing. Don’t hesitate to spend some of your new-found wealth. Saving is important, but enjoying your life when you have the means to do so is also important. Share what you have when you can.