This day hasn’t started off very well

And it’s the one year anniversary of my move to The Hill. No, I still don’t have a driver’s license, because I also don’t have the title for the junker and thus nothing to learn on. I also never got a bike. It’s dicey around Dosch Road though, even for experienced, competitive (and young!) bikers. I live with two of them.

The joy of dealing with cell phone providers…

Wading through the AT&T website and service line makes you want to scream (I did, several times, scaring the dog) and bash your head into a wall (not yet but the day is young). My contract ends on the 20th and I could not let it renew and get locked into another 1½-2 year contract. I can’t afford it! I’m getting charged an extra $31 in fuck-you fees… I might be on C’s plan, but we don’t know for sure cause he can’t get through to Verizon.

The My AT&T website wouldn’t let me change my address, and of course there is NO button or link to “terminate my account”. I got a “need some help?” message which informed me I should go to chat, which of course was “busy” as in “not functioning at all” with a little banner informing you of such. So helpful!

In contemplating the potential of life without a smartphone I realized I wouldn’t have a camera! There’d be no Instagram in that case. Hrrrm… IG is fun cause even bad at social media, middle-aged types like myself will get noticed. Thinking of the artistic self promotion here. The thing is, I’ve never gotten a solid lead in that way.

I’m just trying to type it out before I sit for meditation. It’s going to be a fun one.

Fucking hell I wish that last job opportunity had been real.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh well.

I worked steadily in NYC. I want everyone to remember that, myself included. Not that I want to dwell on it, but ok I’m rambling.

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#HIIT warm-up & #ashtanga #yoga

Fuck the fucking snow. Fuck this winter. Fuck corporations in general and especially fuck athletic corporations.


Obviously the max of 223 below is a Polar monitor glitch. I didn’t catch blip while working out, but I do believe the average because I was burning really high.


We’d decided to go to an early evening movie yesterday, not knowing this latest fucking storm would dump New England levels of snow. I was the one who suggested we get our grocery shopping done early – to toot my own horn, because if I don’t no one else will – and it was a damn good thing because it was already getting pretty hairy by the time we headed home. And judging by the stocks the food co-op had right before the last snow, there would’ve been very slim pickings by that fucking point.

The main point of my mentioning that is with the shopping and the movie I didn’t get a workout in yesterday. You can be sure that this morning I: meditated; did my mantra; did the banishing spell and then got my workout in. Hey, with this storm I lose the chance to make any pocket change this week. And I lost another week due to the fucking cold. I’ll have my endorphins, thank you.

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HIIT warm-up

1. Jugglers High Knees
2. Burpee
3. Jump Kick (right)
4. Jump Kick (left)
5. Russian Kicks
6. Squat Jump
7. Mountain Climber
8. Lunge Hop (right)
9. Lunge Hop (left)
10. High Knees Tap
11. Frogger
12. Heel Tap Squat Jump
13. 2 Plank Jack/s, 2 Knee In to Opp Arm
14. Alt Pistol Pop Up Note to self: pistols should go in the first third of a set this long!
15. Low Jack

Yoga

About 72min

  • Suryas & fundamentals
  • Marichy C & D
  • Second to Laghu Vajrasana, EPRK, Kapo B (x2?)
  • Urdhva D, 3 drop backs, 3 ticks Takes about 1hr to get to finishing with this format
  • Finishing

Day 6: Cannot speak at all #sick

I’m reduced to a notepad and speakable items. (I can type faster than I can write.) I got close to five hours of solid sleep, which is the most since before onset (Thursday night). Had to take a tranquilizer though. I’ll definitely leave the cannabis oil off the menu from now on. The high doesn’t knock me out which is the entire point. All I get is an unbearable dry mouth. I was thinking Sunday night that at least I was being forced to sip water, but staying miserably awake all night was definitely not part of the intended cure.

Last night I was hoping this would be a workout day, but I can tell I’m pretty much holding steady at the bottom here. The upswing hasn’t started yet. And who cares really? It’s not like I’m going to not look good in those nice outfits I don’t have, while hanging out with my local social circle which doesn’t exist. I’ve always made new friends easily in the past, but that requires leaving the house. It also requires an income (which here would be enough to cover the cost of drinks, snacks and uber).

If Fuzz would ever get off his ass and send us the title replacement for the pre-dented Fuzzmobile, I could learn to drive, and I could at least make grocery runs. But that wouldn’t help me socialize. I’d need to live in a public transportation zone for that.

Drinking peppermint, turmeric and ginger tea with lots of honey, now that I’ve had my black coffee. Burning the (first) reversal candle. I didn’t finish it last night because I knew I didn’t have the energy to walk down the long drive way, smash the mirror and walk back up again. Today I will do it.

The stuff in my chest is still infected and very tight. I probably won’t have a voice at all until it started to soften and break up.

Body image, depression and a balanced approach to exercise

I can relate to a lot of this… Unlike Christine, I unfortunately don’t have access to a gym or heavy weights.

I can totally relate when she talks about wanting to get back to a certain leanness that she first achieved somewhat effortlessly when starting on a raw food diet. I experienced the same kind of thing when I launched on the India cycle, winter 2006. (India screwed both of us up but in different weight directions!) Sometime after 2010 I hit the ashtanga plateau, compounded by the fact that I couldn’t find a local teacher and then I also stopped going to India. I aged past 43-45, the perimenopausal window of hormonally induced belly fat. I’ve been unhappy with my weight for 4 or 5 years now.

Recently I’ve been loving the new crazy-intense workouts on Fit Body by Julia, but I cannot do them every day like she can. She’s got a few kids, but depending on when she started might even still be in her late 20s, probably with a much healthier lifestyle than mine overall. I’m way less addicted to this idea of an exercise regimen than I used to be in the days of The Cult, when missing days brought a whole lot of culturally supported guilt, but I still get a little worried about it. Now that I’m on The Hill, I’m almost entirely inactive when I’m not working out. I also won’t even bother to shower or even get dressed most of the time if I don’t exercise. I just lie here and read. That’s it.

But then I can’t seem to restrain myself from really blowing it out of the water when I do. Then I’m sore the next day and can’t seem to step up to the plate if I don’t feel I’ll be able to generate a certain level of intensity. Today I was thinking maybe to do just 15min of a HIIT and then some low key yoga, but…


None of this is of end of the world import. It wouldn’t be a tragedy if I settled into an every-other-day plan. I’d just like to be more balanced in my approach, but I guess today I will lie in bed, think about exercise and write about exercise rather than do any.

Not to brag, but I can sit in #meditation for 40 minutes

Without changing my legs in padmasana! The foot & calf on top always go numb after about 20min, from the weight of the first foot in pressing on top of the thigh. Of course today it was all avoidance. It is SO DARK.

I made this video when I was still at The Hotel. Thinking about it now, I was actually still way more hopeful then, in lots of ways I won’t detail because then I’d have to move this post to the Batcave.

I just wish Henry would deign to nap with me. He’s in love with the pantry. He’s a Pantry Cat. Spends all of his time in there when not campaigning for food lately.


At least the (what passes for) the campaign has kept me busy on Twitter for hours. Look it’s already the afternoon!

Gets back into bed with laptop

If I’d been more disciplined last night I could’ve totally gotten in a workout today, since I’m getting a ride & don’t have to do the 90-minute version of the 2.5 mile commute, but… Meh. Thinks back to the entrenched guilt of the Cult days. Back then my teacher & shala mates would know if I’d skipped. It’s still hard for me to believe that I paid $240 a month for yoga ten years ago, without blinking. What would that be now, $325 monthly? And that wasn’t even for 24/7 access year round. When you pay for ashtanga, you’re lucky to get 5-6 days a week access (depending on the moon schedule), past 10am, except when the teacher is: sick, on vacation, getting paid to be in two places at one time (doing a workshop elsewhere). Yoga Sutra was awesome back in the day, before Greg screwed over Christopher, only later to be shafted himself but there’s karma for you. There were two teachers, going from 6:30 to I think it was 11:30am, so if you had a day off work you didn’t still have to get up at 5 to get your fix in. That blissful situation didn’t last long, and these days AYNY can only exist in Brooklyn.

These days I’m so apathetic about everything that I’m on a 4x a week exercise plan. It’s just as easy to eat less on days I’ve got a retail shift. I used to be able to get up at 5am sharp to get in a yoga practice before a 7 or 8 hours of work but that was when I was doing design. I guess lazy & flabby goes along with unskilled labor for me.

I know regular yoga would still be good for me, but I could only manage it if I had a group, and I don’t have the budget for that.

Thinks about meditation.

Doesn’t meditate.

At least this year I will finish a themed group of 16 illustrations. There’s something.