The Renunciate’s Elevated Cave

I once was in a place where I could get anywhere at all times, and I had about 20 appetizing restaurants within a 10-minute walk, plus two health food stores and the largest Whole Foods in Manhattan. Now I’m on The Hill and have been without ANY public transportation since January 11th. There was some on the 10th, but then it started snowing heavily that evening and it continued through the morning. After that, everything froze for a good, long while, and Portland neither salts its roads nor owns more than two (I think) ploughs. They should pay all the unemployed creatives to shovel! LOL. But then they’d advertise it as a volunteer, no doubt. And they’d probably have a strict age limit of 35 because liability.

Fuck the close-minded fuckers all the way to hell

And once again, I had every reason to believe I’d succeed. I had to acknowledge the risk, but I thought it was a small one. I have REALLY learned what our society thinks about women since I moved. It is what it is, I guess. It’s funny but now I’m doing some free design work for Trey, who lives up here on The Hill also. He’s Cymon’s boyfriend. (Unpaid work is plentiful… Meanwhile I’m still forking out $50 a month for Creative Cloud. It’d be nice if I could get at least that covered but… Portland. It’d also be nice if these volunteer samples resulted in paid work, but the last time I was hoping for such a result it did not occur, mainly because I’m limited to the free advertising of Craig’s List Portland.)  Anyway, I showed him how to Air Drop some image reference to me and he was all, “Oh man, cool!” Hadn’t been aware of it. Does it fucking matter that I’m fucking UP ON THINGS? No. It fucking does not if I’m immediately disqualified due to age. And I know from past experience I can run circles around most designers in terms of efficiency, once I know the product and this does not take long.

I got my workout in. Tomorrow I think I’ll do the 1/3 HIIT / 2/3 yoga format.

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Warm-up: (10/30×6=4min) jump rope intervals


New Years Eve Workout by Christine Comeau

20:17 no rest tabata pairs (20 secs move #1, 17 secs move #2 x4) 6:23
With 8lb vest. Kicked my ASS. Haven’t been wearing it lately.

1. Tuck jump burpee (tuck at top and the bottom)
a. Toe touch jacks
2. Box jump burpee
a. Box jumps
3. Plank hop + vertical frog jump
a. Plank hops
4. High knee runs + drop and pop
a. High knee runs
5. Broad jump + bunny hop back
a. Bunny hop
6. Skaters
a. SL box jumps (on the floor)

DumbBELL Time Pyramid (50:10:30:10:15:10 complete for each move before moving on) 18:45 mins
1. Squat slam + halo up 20
2. RL fwd lung and lateral raise chop 10
3. SA snatch to split lunge right 15 I was thinking I wouldn’t like this move & was right. I’d rather do a stationary clean & press w/ SA and 20lb
4. Staggered push up + tuck jump over block
5. LL fwd lunge and lateral raise chop
6. SA snatch lunge left 15
7. Squat and press, drop weights and squat jump 40 This really DID send my heart rate through the roof, and for some reason swings with a kettle bell (next move) are extra rocket-y for me. 
8. Kettlebell swing 35 Reg height, to shoulder level Had to hit pause after 50-sec interval to let my heart rate lower. Took the time to make notes 🙂
9. Staggered push up + t-stand press 15

AMRAP (5 minutes- start at 10 reps per move, every round remove one rep)
Score: only got thru the 10s and 9s complete & to 6 star jumps in the 8s.
1. Toe touch jacks
2. SL tricep pushups
3. Star jumps
4. X & O abs (low boat x to tuck abs)


Reps This set was counting down in reps from 10-1, for a NYC thing. I get that it’s a change of pace & is playful but I wanted more reps so I did 10 of all & changed the last move.

Time = 12min Hadda run out of the room a couple times to fetch equipment I’d forgotten
10 reps plank + leg kick through 2=1, feet on bench
10 reps decline pike push up
10 repsV-ups hold 3lb weight bet feet & 10lbs in hands
10 reps handstand leg squeezing ball + shoulder taps (2=1)
10 reps hamstring pulls on sliders
10 reps reverse curls, 5lbs bet feet
10 reps  v ups (2=1) 3lbs
10 reps tucks 3lbs
10 reps slider pike tucks
50 crunches leg squeeze plank hold 30 seconds

Combo moves pyramid (from 8-6-4-2)
Time = 18min
1. Tricep pushup / plank hops / tricep kickback 10
2. Alt rows 20s / plank hop / standing, fast, alt rows This was tough w/ two 20s!
3. Squat jump (weights in hands) 30 + hammer curl in squat
4. Bench flutter kick abs and punches ankle weights, C-sit on bench, 10lbs each hand / Reverse Curls w/ ankle weights Decided to make this one a combo move too rather than having a descending order of reps with a somewhat arbitrary break.

(Total time = 1:28)

Yoga

  • About 15min

 

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Any home fitness freaks who need a challenge oughta check out Fit Body by Julia on YouTube

 

If you’re depressed and can’t afford therapy or things like a social life and circle of friends, I recommend working out to the point of pure, sublime exhaustion.

If I had a decent income and steady, well-paid creative work then I wouldn’t need the therapist so much would I? No matter.

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855!!! The reps workout took 1:37. Then I did just a bit of stretching. I’ll be more low key tomorrow, I have a feeling. Or not. Who can tell how well the demons will remain tamped down?

This was my second of her workouts. The first one I could follow along with the video because it was a pyramid done by time. I can tell you I was NOT keeping up with Julia, but that’s perfectly fine for an interval workout. This ab challenge, however, is reps. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up with her, even without wearing a weighted vest. So I took the time to preview it more closely and take more careful notes.

For the first time I’ve found YouTube workouts that make me wonder whether or not I’ll be able to complete them! I wouldn’t want to try wearing a weighted vest during ANY of this! And I hadda go very light on the weights. It occurred to me I could lesson the reps but NO! I didn’t skip a single one.


Starter:

  1. 50 toe touch crunch pulses: Lie on back with legs straight up in the air. Reach arms out straight & pulse fingertips toward feet
  2. 50 flutter kicks On back, hands behind head. Flutter legs straight up & down. L+R=1
  3. 50 Mtn climbers L+R=1

Group 1: 20 reps

  1. Burpee knee tucks Do push-up & then tuck alt knees in while in plank
  2. Leg raises to rev curl Tapping heels to floor lightly
  3. Left side plank 10 dips, then 10 toe touches From hand, touching top foot
  4. STAND ON Right leg – Hammer curl to shoulder press-up & curtsy, 10lbs Keeping weights overhead to curtsy lunge, lower weights to start
  5. Pike in with sliders
  6. Tricep pushup on weights to lateral raise Feet wide. She uses 6lbs. I’d have to use 10 or 5.
  7. Jugglers High knees L+R & touch foot L+R = 1

Group 2: 20 reps

  1. Burpee tuck jump
  2. Knees in press up abs, 10lbs
  3. Frogger
  4. Right side plank 10 dips, then 10 toe touches
  5. STAND ON Left leg – Wide curl to Y press to over head curtsy lunge. 8lbs Curl up, hold up, step back to curtsy, return foot & curl down. Repeat.
  6. Tuck abs On the floor & fast
  7. Squat + twist , 20lbs I knew this’d happen but I couldn’t quite remember how this one goes in the video. Did sumo squat & elbow to opp knee, alternating & keeping weights resting on my shoulders.

Group 3: 20 reps

  1. Burpee + 4 oblique twist jumps at top
  2. Rack pass (each pass is 1)
  3. Oblique plank hops + wide frog hop 3 hops = 1 rep
  4. Russian twist 2=1, 10lbs
  5. On Knees goblet squat and press to chop, 10lbs Start sitting on feet with weight at chest, come to kneeling & swing weight overhead and then chop to alt sides. Count on the chop.
  6. Decline plank, tapping down to floor with alt legs
  7. Lateral raises on one leg, 10/10 Balance on one leg. Same arm holds 10lbs & lifts out to the side.

Group 4: 20 reps

  1. Burpee + 4 mtn climbers No push-up
  2. Straight abs. Weighted sit up Full sit-ups wearing vest in front
  3. Three cross jabs, kick, heel grab,3lb weights, 10/10
  4. Eagle crunch Eagle legs & arms
  5. Single leg deadlift + close row (while leaning forward) to knee up+ hammer curl 10/10, 30lbs
  6. Temple tap abs
  7. T-arm bi curls to alt toe touch Hold 5lbs straight out laterally. Bicep curl & back out. Rotate to touch opp foot on floor. Feet a little wider than hip width.

Group 5: 20 reps

  1. Single leg burpee 10/10
  2. Gladiator get up (10/side) 10lbs Holding weight straight out to the side. Come up to elbow to side plank, leg lift & reverse.
  3. Alt Bulgarian tuck to elv pushup (10/leg) Back leg elevated. Hop front foot up. Put both feet on bench & do a push-up. Switch legs.
  4. V up abs Pike up, feet together, legs & arms straight, fast.
  5. Sumo squat + upright row to T arms, 16lbs. Stand with feet wide & squat, upright row & kick weights out to a T
  6. Roll back and jump for height Julia just rolls to the top of her shoulders, but since I was going on my own (much slower!) time & not keeping pace, I decided to touch floor behind me every time for more of a stretch
  7. Alt Curtsy + single arm row, 30lbs Row with same arm as leg that’s in front.

Finisher:

  1. 50 plank jacks in tricep hold position Catarunga position
  2. 50 back lunge with row/hop (25/side) 10lbs? Back lunge to hop up, row with the same arm
  3. 50 high knees with T arms

Stretch

About 15min