Got up at 4:15 as planned. Was no problem cause Ch and I had an early dinner at my favorite, nearby McMenamins along with a couple muscle relaxers (beers) and I went to bed a bit after 8pm.

I did my sit and banishing ritual and then I had some extra time before the hour of Jupiter commenced, either 6:22 or 6:26am according to online sources. I had a couple candles and incense going. Turned out all electric light & did some light yoga & concentration before I started exactly at 6:22. I was finished about 6:40!

I felt a bit silly but it’s all worth a try. Ritual! Tried to get back to sleep later but I think I’ll need to wait until the caffeine wears off a bit. Later in the afternoon I’ll go into my studio, pick something to work on and call my servitor.

First part of this, about enjoying the idea of something, is applicable for a desired attitude toward this whole endeavor.

Advent and the New Moon

The Darkness

The murk of this part of the year in the Pacific Northwest is really something. If I could, I’d get away for a good two months of it, or at least I like to imagine that, currently looking at pictures of friends in places like Thailand or Bali. But then I wouldn’t want to leave Henry for that long. I’m spared from these kinds of tough decisions by a lack of funds, but now is the time in my life that I’m supposed to buckle down and focus art. Again. #fullcircle

Advent and the New Moon

You might as well make things ceremonial right? Charlie and I are gonna make an advent wreath on Sunday. I’d wanted to do that last year when I found out about the existence of the thing, at Trinity Episcopal. I’d passed by a couple times and was intrigued by the building, and then I found out they’ve got a fantastic pipe organ and choir. I love choral music and technically I’m Episcopalian, even if I’d never heard of advent. In those days I still thought I was going to do the full-time job and apartment thing too, and figured prayer couldn’t hurt, at least. I accidentally chose the 1st day of advent to attend my 1st (of 4 I think) service, and was intrigued by the pagan feel of it all. They had a wreath making class after and for $10 you can take it home with you, but ya $ so… We’re going to make one here. Plenty of trees outside. I’d still like to have a candle holder for it though. Looked at a bunch of them on Amazon.


I particularly like this one for the price ($35) but by this point it’s too late to get it in time anyway. Maybe next year 🙂

The new moon is on Tuesday! I have to get up at like 4-fucking-am, in order to meditate and perform the banishing ritual before the first hour of Jupiter at 6:12. I just worked on my second draft of the oratory. I’ll be totally ready. I started way earlier and as an artist I have a definite edge in the imaginative.

Lastly I am REALLY STIFF & SORE for working out at night and doing the barest, minimal stretching after. I think I did a quick forward bend and that was it. Bad me. And I have to exercise today, still, in order to make my 5x tally for the week. I’ve gotta make sure to put in at least 30min yoga I’d say. Anyways it’s time to sit.

Rewatched #Melancholia last night

I love a good end of the world drama, and I liked this much more the second time. First time I watched it was also online, with my friends Jody and Daniel in NYC, when they lived just a block north of me in the East Village. If you’re expecting Hollywood fare this will be a hard movie to get into! We were all sort of dismissive then because we were expecting a more superficial type of entertainment.

Melancholia is slow moving, but very deep and well acted, and it has a powerful ending. That’s when the deeply depressed individual – who had it all and threw it all away – shows how strong she truly is.

The therapist told him that depressive people tend to act more calmly than others under heavy pressure, because they already expect bad things to happen.

There are two halves to the movie.

By splitting the film up into two parts in this way, “Melancholia” explores the themes of loss, destruction, impermanence, and loneliness, first on an intimate scale (“Justine”) and then on a global scale (“Claire”).

I’m familiar with being the only person in a room willing and able to see the ridiculousness and (sometimes) base evil of a situation and actually SAY something. I can relate to Claire. “You don’t need to mourn this world.” Actually the only area where I disagree is I don’t believe that humans are alone in the universe. I’m pretty sure there’s other fuck-ups out there.

Planning my day. Gonna do a little reading. I need to read the entire servitor book & then start conceptualizing my 24/7 helper. What I need is something to inspire me to create art without deadlines or expectations and THEN direct clients to me.

My seat is strong in my daily, morning meditation. So THIS is what all the yoga was for! – a thought that sprang up today, before I returned my attention to the edges of my nostrils.

Julia posted a shorter workout! Of course if it’s rep based and 40min for her it’ll be an hour for me, at least, but that’s ok. A little exercise and a little yoga would be fine for today.