Day 6: Cannot speak at all #sick

I’m reduced to a notepad and speakable items. (I can type faster than I can write.) I got close to five hours of solid sleep, which is the most since before onset (Thursday night). Had to take a tranquilizer though. I’ll definitely leave the cannabis oil off the menu from now on. The high doesn’t knock me out which is the entire point. All I get is an unbearable dry mouth. I was thinking Sunday night that at least I was being forced to sip water, but staying miserably¬†awake all night was definitely not part of the intended cure.

Last night I was hoping this would be a workout day, but I can tell I’m pretty much holding steady at the bottom here. The upswing hasn’t started yet. And who cares really? It’s not like I’m going to not look good in those nice outfits I don’t have, while hanging out with my local social circle which doesn’t exist. I’ve always made new friends easily in the past, but that requires leaving the house. It also requires an income (which here would be enough to cover the cost of drinks, snacks and uber).

If Fuzz would ever get off his ass and send us the title replacement for the pre-dented Fuzzmobile, I could learn to drive, and I could at least make grocery runs. But that wouldn’t help me socialize. I’d need to live in a public transportation zone for that.

Drinking peppermint, turmeric and ginger tea with lots of honey, now that I’ve had my black coffee. Burning the (first) reversal candle. I didn’t finish it last night because I knew I didn’t have the energy to walk down the long drive way, smash the mirror and walk back up again. Today I will do it.

The stuff in my chest is still infected and very tight. I probably won’t have a voice at all until it started to soften and break up.

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Wow I am SERIOUSLY sick

I haven’t been this bad in years, with a respiratory thing, not since like 34/35. I’d been trying to celebrate Christmas like a healthy person but this cold has just gotten worse and worse, approaching flu levels. I waaaaay over did some cannabis oil, trying to sleep last night, and then I just got the horrible dry mouth reaction and no sleep.

I’ve got rock hard sinuses, noxious goo¬†in my chest and now I’ve lost my voice too. I need to just stay in bed for a couple days, drink liquids, (except for wine), and recover. One of the funny things is that one point in the many billion I couldn’t sleep I started planning a pre yoga HIIT, and turned my phone on to make the list. There will be no exercise the next couple days.

Charlie brought some coffee upstairs which is why my eyes are open and I’m blearily, still both high and tired AF, typing this. Poor guy! At least we got to have fun on the Eve. I might see if I can wobble downstairs to get him to make me more of it. And there’s organic OJ in the fridge…

Woke up with a start from my drug-induced nap

And half the day’s over. Excellent! And it only took 1 tablet

I guess I don’t have mono but that weird, nervous churning feeling in my upper abdomen, spleen area, reminds me of my bout, long ago. It was the first day of eighth grade. My sister and I both got ready in same bathroom, each perched on one side of the counter. I was applying my blue sparkly eye shadow (I’m that old), when I sort of crumpled, slid to the floor and passed out. You could call that sudden onset! My sister accused me of always being “so dramatic”. My dad had to come in and pick me up off the floor and deposit me on my bed. There was a moment I scared the fuck out of everyone by being unable to respond. Soon after I had the worst sore throat you could imagine, like strep at mach 10. I needed help getting from the car into the doctor’s office later as well, but by then I could speak.

It was a rager of a case & I missed a full month of school. My throat felt like that last night. It’s hard to get any liquids down when it’s that painful to swallow.

Maybe I’ll have to go back to vegetarian again and see if that helps my immune system as much as it did in my late 30s. I still think vegan is the only ethical way, but it’s just too damn hard when you’re this isolated and poor. I’m lucky to have a roof over my head and food to eat. When I’m buying my own groceries again then I can be pickier.