Annoyances can be like games, tests of your powers of mental avoidance

Blocking shit out is a VIRTUE in hermetics.

You want to be able to focus on shit you want to attract and foster, and extremely honed focus is a skill that requires constant practice. I never heard of anyone really working on that in Astanga. In my experience, and observance of that world when I was in it, The Cult seems to mostly produce more obsessiveness and attachment. Useful tools though, the asana, when not fixated upon.

Super late start today! Granted I was hiding in my room from like 7pm on last night, avoiding jam night, indulging in a Magicians & tequila binge until midnight. Pretty sure my next episode is #11, and I’d started on 3 or 4. (Read & enjoyed all 3 of the books and I don’t much mind the made-for-TV elements of the show.) Since I can, I slept in until 9:30, not including temporary feline interruptions.

I’m going to take the bus downtown on a field trip today! Need a new hoodie FFS. I finally retired my beloved, worn to DEATH Aeropostale. Try as I might, I could never find a satisfactorily form fitting and heavy replacement. I’m pretty sure I only paid about $30, during one post Christmas sale about 10 years ago. I’d go there every winter and order up a ton of stuff. Charlie googled up an okay looking example at Gap this morning though, so I reserved one and I’ll go see. Maybe I’ll have lunch at Veggie Grill too…

I’m planning on “plein air” as soon as it gets into at least 50-degree weather.

Seriously WTF is up with all this New England weather in Portland this year? Le sigh. Too cold. But… look what’s on its way.

I know I just got my huge, studio easel back after 20 years, but the thing is I want to do more outside drawings and water media, including watercolor, watercolor, watercolor. I now have a shit ton of paint!¹ My old easel is mostly suited for oil painting, or acrylic if you can deal that. You also can’t lug it down to the waterfront to work on a touristy kind of promotional piece. I need to be doing more architecture. I should toss in some government buildings. I want to be downtown more again, and this is the kind of work I want to produce so…

I did a little bit of that last year – link 1, link 2, link 3 –  when I was tentatively getting going on spending longer amounts of time on drawings and making more of a commitment to a level of finish above “doodle”. These were volunteer illustrations for the cool, though unorganized Sustainable Today. It could’ve gone further, but then they wanted something on the level that should be billed for at least $5,000, and they waited too long to ask. Fall and winter last year I was still working frantically toward anything that could cover my second apartment, but all those efforts were not quite right. (At least she tried.)

Maybe all I need, eventually, is studio space downtown

I’ve got my doubts about oil painting working out downstairs in the dining room. It’s not a dedicated space and there would be ventilation and clean-up issues. Working in oil is also SO MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE. I’ve decided that the universe needs to pony up significantly first. All of my spiritual practices of the past six months are pointed in this direction, like an army of missiles. That’s what it’s all in service of, so we’ll see.


Maybe I’ll exercise tonight, maybe I won’t.


¹ Since I’ve started working in traditional media again, out here in Portland, I’ve decided that Utrecht is my favorite brand. Other companies make interesting novelty colors. I like some of the metallics and “shimmers”. But overall the consistency and spread is best in Utrecht. You don’t get all this oily goop that spits out.

 

 

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That was a difficult #meditation! Good thing I took a look in there though

I should really be doing that every day again, but 22-minutes is hard. There’s a lot of energy in there I do my best to ignore… I couldn’t do 40-min right now. No way. It’d be so torturous it’d be counter reinforcement, you know, like a relentless barrage of constant petty criticisms.

I’m going to try to sit first thing every day, just the 22-min. Good old padmasana!! It really IS the best posture for meditation, if you’re set up for it. I guess I absorbed some of the ashtanga well. I’ve been thinking about it again! That’s some samskara going.

I’d done my cards, a 3-card spread of the Mary-El, but decided not to blog it. I don’t retain anything copying & pasting anyway! Charlie asked me for help yesterday, using his deck for the first time. I looked at the cards, thought about it & realized I only remember the broadest, vaguest ideas about them, hard to put into soundbites.

I was always an excellent student but 1) I cared and 2) I took hand written notes, then I re wrote them! So ya, copying & pasting is robot mode; I won’t remember it and it takes too much time. I say as I type this. This is different. #thoughts


Took a look at the latest goddesses. They are so almost done. No problem finishing today. Half the secret in watercolor is not doing. You do a little work and then you put it away to let the perception rest.

#Goddess of the day, #Athena #illustration #PDXart

athena 3.jpg

The goddess of wisdom, courage, inspiration, civilization, law and justice, mathematics, strength, war strategy, the arts, crafts, and skill in ancient Greek religion and mythology.

Athena is known for her calm temperament, as she moves slowly to anger. She is noted to have only fought for just reasons, and would not fight without a purpose