A moderate temperature is SUPPOSED to be 1 of the things Portland has going for it

Not this year! It’s a good thing I kept the 22 year old Grizzly. (Wish I had the money to get new faux fur put in but I don’t.) It’s a tights under jeans kind of day. I’m actually heading downtown to do some office cleaning. Moving from NYC to Portland is the same thing as moving from a “3rd world” country to the USA. Your previous credentials are rendered irrelevant. I’m a doctor in my country.

So I started the 2nd hermetics exercise. This time I’m going to keep a log & publish it as one entry when I’m done. Makes more sense. I tacked it onto a 22min sit. Normally I sit for 30min but I’ve gotta catch the last bus 51 of the morning at 9:08. If you wait longer than that, you’re fucked, in this zone.

Oh and my replacement 20lb dumbbell finally arrived! I’m not sure if it’s exactly the same weight as the old one, but I can alternate which hand holds which weight. At least now I don’t have to hurt my hands trying to hold two 10s at the same time, and I can up my load by 10lbs in many more moves. Gonna do a late afternoon routine today.


New Year’s Eve, restaurants & muffin tops

We had a lovely dinner at Castagna Cafe last night, although I’d say it was good rather than stellar. I mean we’d be more likely to try a new place than return. We’re finally going to Andina today for a 2:30pm lunch! Very exciting. I’d walked by that place when I was still at The Hotel and thought it looked good. When I mentioned it in conversation with the The Ladd Charles, he was like, That’s my favorite restaurant! 

Unfortunately I have not rallied myself for exercise early enough to get to what I’d planned on for today in time. I was going to do Day 7 of Julia’s Twelve Days of Christmas. (She didn’t add me into the new Facebook group like she’d said she would, but I understand because I don’t actually know any of the ladies involved, and the whole reason she archived the first was that it’d gotten too big. With that invariably comes the negativity and trolls. I never saw it there but I guess it was happening. In any case, it wasn’t ever going to replace the community that I had with Astangis at one time, so NBD.)

I’ve missed so many workouts with this vicious cold! Maybe I’ll get to it tonight. We’re not doing anything after lunch. My voice is still too weak. It’d made some gains yesterday an then I talked too much & had to revert to the pen and pad at dinner. At least the waitress didn’t treat me like a leper because of it, like the guy the night before. She was sweet.

I should really work out. A Sierre Trading Post delivery was here this morning. It’s a discount shopping site I’d never heard of before meeting Ch. He’d ordered me a couple pairs of jeans to try on. I haven’t bought new jeans in ages and was wise not to go with my previous, fitter NYC-size of a 25″ waist. I went with 26, but guess what? The “Rock & Roll” jeans fit perfectly everywhere except for nipping in at the waist to provide me with the dreaded muffin top. One is worse than the other. If I were to wear a fitted top I’d have to walk around with my arms up overhead, lol. So it’s really just the cut… I have narrow hips but I don’t have all that much of a waist. I’m pretty much straight up in down, with a little more softness around the lower abs than there used to be, and that shit isn’t going away unless I resume a more active lifestyle. (Not much hope there.)

I really don’t like the cheesy logo stuck on the back anyway. I hate prominent logos, as I have a thing against free whoring for corporations in general.

Also the Asics don’t fit. Doh! For sneakers I find it’s really best to go try a bunch of stuff on. It’s nearly impossible to get a great fit via an order and return cycle. Of course then you’ve gotta be able to pay full retail. I’ll continue to wear the too-big ones. It’s ok. It’s not like I’m running a marathon or anything.

At least I’ll get my sit in before we go!

A bored (and wronged) witch is a dangerous witch, PDX

Reversal Part 2

I probably should’ve waited to add the valerian root to my noxious blend! Every time I spit flem into my coffee can cauldron I get a whiff, lol. The gunk in my sinuses has thankfully loosened enough so I can breathe. I’m still blowing my nose fairly constantly, and my Vaseline still comes to bed with me every night for post blow application (and is by my side all day). The first plan was to keep adding to the mix as long as I’m coughing, but I think I may bury it tomorrow, and it can keep steeping on a semi permanent basis.

I’m using the fruits of my illness as a tools, see. I have suffered emotionally to a huge extent, and the social isolation has taken a big toll on the robustness of my health. So I will take my illness, suffering and all the negative feelings that generates and put it allllll into the mix to send back.

I’ve decided to take another rest day from exercise. I had to work out the day before yesterday, as days of lying in bed had made my back so sore. Yesterday I chose a no-impact routine, though it was one of Julia’s. It took a lot out of me. Too much. I hadn’t eaten a substantial meal since Christmas Day & I nearly told Charlie I didn’t want to go to Rogue for burgers after all. I’m glad I rallied. Also glad I thought to bring a notepad & pen with me, as it’s most often loud in there and last night it was.


We had the same waiter as the last visit. I’d asked C to tell him I had laryngitis so he wouldn’t think I was rude by not communicating at all. The funny thing was that after that he wouldn’t look at me, as if I were sporting some deeply embarrassing deformity. I could still smile and nod!

And then they were having a sale on some of their bottled beers and C asked if we could get a case of the IPA we were drinking. The table flyer said, “Ask your server about our selections!”, or something like that. The waiter goes, Uhh… I could check and see if we have it if I get a chance. C was momentarily taken aback and the waiter left. So C grabbed one (from the other room) and then wrote on the table flyer, “Actually the server would prefer you check yourself.

I still like that place. It’s satisfyingly divey.

Tonight we’re going to check out the cafe outpost of an expensive, foodie-type place (think single bit sized “portions” swimming in huge, fancy plates) that I spent some time on Twitter making fun of today.


The cafe is still pricey, but like a quarter of the “fahncy” restaurant, and I’m pretty sure you might even get half plates of food, or C must think so as he wouldn’t have suggested we try it. Occurred to me that it might’ve been a mistake to reserve the table using my Open Table account, in that case, lol, but C couldn’t remember his password. Or I typed it in wrong.

Things about Portland that suck

Portland restaurants are really not any cheaper than NYC restaurants, and there’s a huge gap in the medium range, comfy cafe level. You’ve either got brewpub or EXPENSIVE, it seems. And I never saw a fee for splitting an entree anywhere in NYC. I went to a so-so Italian place in Sellwood on a pre Ch internet date once, and was shocked to see they’d bill you $5 if you wanted an entree served on two plates. Da fuck?

Also interesting, two of the places I liked best when I was trying to be vegan and virtuous are closing. Portobello is one of the few places that comes sort-of close to NYC levels. Like, why do vegan places here have to be like biker bars serving only junk food, or look like fast food restaurants where you might want to have lunch but NEVER dinner? I don’t get it. Portobello serves decent food and at least as a B- ambiance, but they’re done on the 31st.

Vtopia, the vegan cheese place and cafe, is now crowd sourcing to try to stay open, so you know they’re done. I used to live within walking distance and liked going there. C and I have been together several times, but the last time we went we found a new owner and there was no wine, because apparently the liquor license does not transfer. That makes NO sense! And while the owner was nice, the cheese case looked barren and depressing and I remember the detail that they served us each about 1 tablespoon of dressing with our salads and it was impossible to get attention to get any more, even though there were maybe 1 or 2 other occupied tables at best. I had a strong feeling it wouldn’t last, and we weren’t ever motivated to return.

Day 6, Day 3 of no voice

And I’ve gotta say MY BACK IS FUCKING KILLING ME from four consecutive days of lying around. I’ve gotta lie on the dinosaur today at least. I dunno… maybe I should work out but the thing Christmas Eve, while impressive, sort of drained me. This cold is so bad that I don’t believe it severely influenced things, but… the other thing is that there is no “public me” to keep up with anymore. I’m so sequestered I sometimes wonder if I’m developing the beginning seeds of agoraphobia. I mean, it feels slightly like sneaking out of the house in high school, when I occasionally take the bus downtown on Wednesdays to clean my friend’s workshop. I’m out of the house by myself! 

I shit you not. It’s like that. And this cold has cost me that session for this week. Ain’t no way I’m willfully sharing what I’ve got going on at present. Speaking of that I smashed the reversal spell mirror last night. Candle finally burned down. Got another candle waiting in the wings… Smash, smash, smash.

Fuck it maybe I’ll do a Julia later. My energy is slightly better, so I’m finally on the fucking upswing. It’s jam night at a friend of Ch’s. I never go, because in Portland I can’t leave when I want. Maybe I’ll go one of these weeks for novelty, but certainly not when I can’t talk.

Day 6: Cannot speak at all #sick

I’m reduced to a notepad and speakable items. (I can type faster than I can write.) I got close to five hours of solid sleep, which is the most since before onset (Thursday night). Had to take a tranquilizer though. I’ll definitely leave the cannabis oil off the menu from now on. The high doesn’t knock me out which is the entire point. All I get is an unbearable dry mouth. I was thinking Sunday night that at least I was being forced to sip water, but staying miserably awake all night was definitely not part of the intended cure.

Last night I was hoping this would be a workout day, but I can tell I’m pretty much holding steady at the bottom here. The upswing hasn’t started yet. And who cares really? It’s not like I’m going to not look good in those nice outfits I don’t have, while hanging out with my local social circle which doesn’t exist. I’ve always made new friends easily in the past, but that requires leaving the house. It also requires an income (which here would be enough to cover the cost of drinks, snacks and uber).

If Fuzz would ever get off his ass and send us the title replacement for the pre-dented Fuzzmobile, I could learn to drive, and I could at least make grocery runs. But that wouldn’t help me socialize. I’d need to live in a public transportation zone for that.

Drinking peppermint, turmeric and ginger tea with lots of honey, now that I’ve had my black coffee. Burning the (first) reversal candle. I didn’t finish it last night because I knew I didn’t have the energy to walk down the long drive way, smash the mirror and walk back up again. Today I will do it.

The stuff in my chest is still infected and very tight. I probably won’t have a voice at all until it started to soften and break up.

Wow I am SERIOUSLY sick

I haven’t been this bad in years, with a respiratory thing, not since like 34/35. I’d been trying to celebrate Christmas like a healthy person but this cold has just gotten worse and worse, approaching flu levels. I waaaaay over did some cannabis oil, trying to sleep last night, and then I just got the horrible dry mouth reaction and no sleep.

I’ve got rock hard sinuses, noxious goo in my chest and now I’ve lost my voice too. I need to just stay in bed for a couple days, drink liquids, (except for wine), and recover. One of the funny things is that one point in the many billion I couldn’t sleep I started planning a pre yoga HIIT, and turned my phone on to make the list. There will be no exercise the next couple days.

Charlie brought some coffee upstairs which is why my eyes are open and I’m blearily, still both high and tired AF, typing this. Poor guy! At least we got to have fun on the Eve. I might see if I can wobble downstairs to get him to make me more of it. And there’s organic OJ in the fridge…

Gets up & has coffee & breakfast. Gets back into bed.

We had a really nice Eve, in spite of the fact that I’m so sick

I’d been really hoping to “extra enjoy” this time of just Charlie and I in the house, but I’m too damned snotty. Oh well. We had a nice Christmas Eve dinner though. Roasted a chicken again. We’re getting better at it! I’d discovered that Whole Foods has a fresh herb blend just for poultry and it made an amazing rub (along with olive oil, kosher salt & pressed garlic). We also discovered that it’s ok to add red wine to the cooking too, not just white like I’d thought, and we have one of those fat separator things now. The only thing is I wish we’d bought one that definitely says “dish washer safe”, as Mr. Man is extra persnickety about putting any plastic in the dish washer, and that plastic is the type that you’ve gotta wash it four fucking times to get the grease off. Therefore it’s his job! lol.

I usually help with all the clean-up but he offered to finish up last night & I was very grateful. I’d really worn myself out with that worked & even had to sit down while de-stemming all the herbs.

I got Ch a quality hat from Made Here on 10th Ave. Also some bitters and a little recipe book, and a couple caramels. Business is SO tough in this town, I figured I’d support some local artisans… I’m happy to say the hat really suits, but I’d gotten a gift receipt just in case. He’d gotten my presents early, a bunch of cold / wet weather stuff for when we get around to trying cross country skiing, which isn’t going to happen this week. We went to Next Adventure. There’s leggings, rain pants, a thick sweater, a layering capable waterproof jacket, extra warm gloves and a knit hat with ear flaps.

My mom sent me a box too! I called yesterday but I have to do it again today, as I’d been saving the opening for post dinner which would be too late as she’s on the East Coast in New Hampshire. She likes the ritual of discussing all the contents. She got me pajamas, an eye mask, panties & slippers from Victoria Secret. (Rocco immediately stole the slippers out of the box & got dog drool all over them! Silly dog.) There was also chocolates, facial SPF, melatonin and (this is funny) a calendar of New England places. During the conversation she asked if I “have” email. I paused. She was on speakerphone & Charlie was sitting next to me, both of us sipping wine. I’d told her I was blocking her in one of my last email responses during the insanity of the easel drama. I was forced to admit it again. I blocked you. To my surprise she answered cheerfully, You’re not the only one. One of her childhood friends from Maine blocked her over her support for Donald Dump.

At one point she said that Hillary should step in and make artists perform at his pathetic inauguration. Oh ya it’s Hillary’s fault he’s a pariah! Oooooooohhhhhhhkaaaaaaaay. That makes perfect sense. Luckily we dropped all political talk quick.

I’m going to try to work out again today, as the rest of the time I’m basically lying down. It’s not like NYC where I’m up and about all the time. My Post horoscope today said I’d meet a good friend in my travels over the next few days and I’m like, I’m leaving the house? It won’t be a Julia routine though! If it wouldn’t take too long, I’d figure out just how many push-ups I did yesterday, an insane amount. I looked at Day 5 and it’s full of burpees again. Nope! BodyRock is way more low key. I’ll pick out one of those.